Body Language Analysis No. 4368: Donald's and Melania's Kiss in Iraq - Nonverbal and Emotional Intelligence (PHOTOS)

Donald Trump and Melania visited the Al Asad Air Base in Iraq on Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2018. It was the President's first visit to a military base in a war zone. While there, the President and First Lady shared a rare public kiss. What follows is a nonverbal analysis of that kiss as captured in the accompanying photograph (and the cropped close-up below).

Most children can probably tell you that Donald's and Melania's kiss-embrace does not look to be at all affectionate.

Note how Donald Trump is leaning quite far into the kiss. He is leaning forward 20º - 25º, while Melania is leaning in only about 5º.

Whenever affection is lacking or diminished - and one still feels socially obligated to kiss or hug another person - one or both people will virtually always lean forward. The President is a fair amount taller than his wife (His true height is about 6' 0.5" [add another 1" with his shoes], while Melania's actual height is about 5' 6" [and with about 2.5 inches more in her boot heels]). Thus, although both can lean-into a kiss, with all other factors being equal (which may or may not be), the taller person typically leans further into a kiss or hug.

Notice too, the angle of their heads and necks - each of their heads are tilted backward, away from each other. Moreover, affectionate embraces will have very frequently exhibit contact of the forehead, temple, and/or region around the eye with these same regions on the other person's face/head.

You may have also noticed that Donald Trump's torso is twisted a bit toward the audience. While Melania's torso and stomach are pointed directly at her husband, his are rotated to his left. Full body pointing is a signal of affection and/or respect - while not doing so indicates a lack of thereof.

Full body pointing (eyes, face, chest, stomach, pelvis, etc.), of course, also includes the feet. And, while we can't see them directly (and therefore, cannot discern where they're pointed), we can infer with fairly high accuracy, that her feet are directly beneath her center of mass - while his left foot is considerably further back compared with his body.

Leaning into a hug or kiss allows the lower body to be further away from the other person - insulating them from intimacy. In such pseudo displays of affection - the further two people's feet are from their hugger, the less affection is present. 

Note that Donald's and Melania's pelvic regions and chests are far apart. Holding each other's upper arms, as they each are doing, ensures such body distancing.

It's interesting to notice that both of their hands are not relaxed. His grip appears to be relatively tight - and this is, in part, due to his center-of-mass being considerably forward (he's a bit off-balance). Sometimes gripping another person's arm in the midst of a hug or kiss is not at all affectionate and can be even a signal the presence of objectifying and/or narcissistic personality traits. There is not enough information in this one image to draw those conclusions, however.

The First Lady's fingers and thumb are all quite widely splayed. This finger position signals a high adrenaline state - and while, kissing on camera with all the world watching (albeit, tape-delayed) is not the perfect environment for intimacy, the First Lady's fingers are not what we would, at all, expect to see amidst even a mild affection display. Her fingers betray her anxiety.

Thus, while his hand-fingers are contracted - hers are widely extended and splayed. Neither of their hands are relaxed - but configured oppositely. Fascinatingly, when one's hands are tense, the face - particularly the mouth - is almost always tense too.

Kissing styles (whether a peck, a longer lips-only kiss, a French kiss, etc.), vary from person to person, but it's also quite true that, like the leaning-in of the body, the further the lips protrude forward, the less affection exists. 

Another obvious (nay, glaring) characteristic of this kiss's lack of affection is Melania's turned cheek. This kiss is not even a lip peck. Between spouses, this simply screams. This nonverbal signal is so overt and ingrained in our culture that this dynamic is a millennia-old metaphor for dissing, distancing, disrespect - signaling an absence of affection. 

The President's eyes (eyelids) appear to be slightly open - his lower eyelids are relaxed which strongly suggests such lack of closure. Melania's right eye may also be a bit open, although given her head rotation, this is impossible to tell. When affection is present, there is a strong tendency toward eyelid closure - although, in such public settings, many will also keep their peepers partially open.

SUMMARY: Donald Trump's and Melania's recent kiss-embrace in Iraq is profoundly lacking in affection. And although very few us will ever kiss with the world watching, this display was light-years away from what one would expect of loving and affectionate spouses.

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See also:

Body Language Analysis No. 4367: Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi, and Chuck Schumer Argue in the Oval Office - The Border Wall and Government Shutdown

Body Language Analysis No. 4363: Ivanka Trump's GMA Interview

Body Language Analysis No. 4361: Donald Trump "Jokes" about leaving office 

Body Language Analysis No. 4359: Trump and Putin in Paris

Body Language Analysis No. 4357: Donald Trump's response, "What a stupid question"

Body Language Analysis No. 4343: Idris Elba, Kate Winslet, Anxiety, and Empathy

Body Language Analysis No. 4336: Alita: Battle Angel, Large Eyes, and Sexual Attraction

Body Language Analysis No. 4332: Richard Nixon, Nikita Khrushchev, and The Kitchen Debate

Body Language Analysis No. 4309: The Little Girl in Red, "Tender Age" shelters, and Empathy

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Body Language Analysis No. 3985: Grief, Pain, and Barometers of Empathy - Nonverbal and Emotional Intelligence (PHOTOS)

Zeid Ali (left) and Hodayfa Ali are cousins. They were in their home in Mosul, Iraq when it collapsed upon being struck with artillery fire. At the time of this photo, some of their family members were missing.

Notice how each boy's central forehead, along with their medial eyebrows, are contracted upward (an elevated central forehead contraction [CFC]).

Their mid-face regions are also very tense - most notably with tremendous flaring of the nostrils and, continuing down past the corners of the mouth, a dramatic deepening of their nasolabial folds.

Hodayfi's and Zeid's upper teeth are primarily visible (little or no lower teeth can be seen) while their lower lips are protruding simultaneous with their dimpling chins. The corners of their mouths are also pulled laterally and most notably vectored downward. 

Why is this image difficult to view? The answer is empathy. Why is it more uncomfortable to look at for some people than others? Because empathy varies from person to person.

These are also the faces we'll adopt when we're viewing others who are in emotional or physical pain. 

When a person experiences pain - be it physical pain or emotional pain - the faces they'll project will look similar to Zeid's and Hodayfa's expressions - albeit often less extreme (for all human suffering is this not this intense). However, the high percentage of people who misidentify subtle, or even moderate examples of this same expression would surprise you (and thus moments of pain are frequently overlooked). Also, there are many people who, in everyday life (often subconsciously, although sometimes certainly consciously) feign empathy, physical pain, and emotional pain.

Recognizing the sincerity of any emotion will help you better discern these insincere scenarios - and this expression, when displayed for another person, is a crucial barometer of empathy. And it's to our profound advantage to date, marry, hire, be hired by, become friends with, and surround ourselves with empathic people.

How good are you at qualifying and quantifying empathy?

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See also:

Body Language Analysis No. 3984: Trump's Tweets, Tics, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Body Language Analysis No. 3982: Bangkok Police Officer's De-Escalation Genius

Body Language Analysis No. 3979: Ivanka Trump, "I Try to Stay Out of Politics"

Body Language Analysis No. 3977: Anthony Kennedy - One Signal You Never Want to See From a Judge During Your Testimony

Body Language Analysis No. 3974: Elle Fanning, Robert De Niro, and Easter

Body Language Analysis No. 3971: Elon Musk, Amber Heard, Affection, and Ownership

Body Language Analysis No. 3968: The Grenfell Tower Fire, Empathy, and Emotional Processing

Body Language Analysis 3962: James Comey's Testimony - Nonverbal and Emotional Intelligence

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3829: Mary Tyler Moore - Flirtatious, Sexy, Alpha Female Smile

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Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3901: Jared Kushner in Iraq - Body Language and Emotional Intelligence (PHOTOS)

It is said among insiders that Jared Kushner shows an "unwavering loyalty" toward his father-in-law. He has rapidly come to be Donald Trump's most trusted advisor. Kushner's assignments include negotiating an Israeli-Palestinian peace deal, overseeing relationships with China, Canada, and Mexico (triple ambassadorship), the chief of the new White House Office of American Innovation, fixing the opioid epidemic - and increasingly he's assuming the role of what is essentially the de facto Secretary of State.

Earlier this week Mr. Kushner made a surprise trip to Iraq. The photo above is from that trip - and not surprisingly, it has drawn tremendous criticism.

From a purist's perspective, the clothes we wear are not considered part of our body language vocabulary - but the purists are sorely mistaken.

Our clothes are profound nonverbal illustrators - for they are extensions of our face/body and much of the time project our personality as well as the context of our mental state. In some settings this principle certainly applies more so than others. In nonverbal parlance, the term "Illustrator" describes a subset of body language signals we display (>99.9+% subconsciously) to emphasize, underline, italicize and act as exclamation-points for other aspects of our verbal communication and behavior.

If Jared Kushner would have donned semi-military garb - or at least jeans and a T-shirt, no one would have thought it unusual. But by choosing to highlight himself and moreover looking extremely Brooks Brothersesque while doing so, he dramatically and arrogantly distances himself from those people with whom he's attempting to build rapport. It sends signals of aloofness, ignorance, incompetence - and a complete lack of empathy. Kushner is very much saying, "I have to be here, but I don't want to" as well as, "I belong to the country club - and you don't". Indeed, many of those in Iraq (or others simply viewing this image) would interpret his choice of garb in this setting as a nonverbal equivalent of a middle finger shoved in their (our) collective faces'.

"When you visit the land of others, take a friend with you, but leave your laws at home."

Inuit Proverb

See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3900: Donald Trump's Statement Regarding US Retaliation for Syria's Chemical Weapons Attack

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3898: President Donald Trump and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi Meet at The White House 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3896: Did Matthew Perry Really Beat Up Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau? 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3890: Ted Koppel on why he thinks Sean Hannity is bad for America 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3842: Bill Belichick and Julian Edelman 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3763: Matt Smith, Claire Foy and Where NOT to be stung by a Wasp

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3716: Fatherhood, Body Language, Emotional Intelligence and Ashton Kutcher's Pants

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3707: The Presidential Debates Part III - Donald Trump v. Hillary Clinton and Sniffing


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Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3093: Brian Williams on David Letterman - Discussing Iraq War Incident - A Very Telling Facial Expression (VIDEO, PHOTOS)

Earlier today Brian Williams took himself off the air - temporarily. Back on 26 March 2013, he was a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman. A lower resolution video of this appearance is included above. During this interview he recounted the now controversial incident that we know to be embellished which occurred in Iraq in 2003.  During his re-telling of the Iraq War events, Williams displayed very telling facial expressions - a partial analysis follows ....

Note that during 4:20 - 4:24 Williams' Central Forehead is Contracted and Vectored Upward (Upward CFC along with his inner [medial] eyebrows). When an upward central forehead contraction is seen in the presence of a "mouth smile" the smile is ALWAYS insincere. The false mouth smile is usually not fully expressed - rather most often as it is here, it's partially-to-mostly suppressed. The CFC with a false mouth smile indicates one of several emotions - either arrogance (and we're all arrogant once in a while), incredulity (certainly disbelief is a common thought-emotion) or contempt (and sometimes we all feel contempt). It's also very important know that all three of these emotional states have other characteristic nonverbal expressions.

We all make this expression on occasion, however when the upward-CFC with a (false) mouth smile is displayed chronically, beware - for it's a strong indicator of a sociopath.

So in this scenario is Brian Williams feeling arrogant, incredulous or contemptuous? Which is it? How can we suss out his thought-feelings more specifically? The secret is to see the other nonverbals clustered with it. What other very obvious lie (not pictured here) did Brian Williams say with respect to his Iraq story? Did you catch it? Stay tuned ....


See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3092: Brian Williams' Apology - Was He Sincere?

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2512:  Matthew Cordle's YouTube Confession  and the Death of Vincent Canzani  "I Killed a Man" - What His Body Language Tells Us ...  It's NOT what you think!

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2405: Anthony Weiner's Running For Mayor of New York - His Body Language & His Sincerity Quotient

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2843: Barack Obama & Vladimir Putin in Normandy - Body Language Tells

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2937: Vladimir Putin - “If I want to, I can take Kiev in two weeks” and Critical Evaluation

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2904: Roger Goodell's Defending the NFL's Punishment for Ray Rice - Bad Crisis Management & Body Language Tells

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2259:  Game Show Killer Rodney Alcala Gets Two More Sentences - His Body Language Warning Signs

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Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2927: Barack Obama regarding ISIS/ISIL - Atypical for the President (VIDEO, PHOTOS)

Yesterday U.S. President Barack Obama spoke to the World regarding ISIS/ISIL and the execution of James Foley.

During his speech Mr. Obama uncharacteristically displayed a dramatically diminished use of his hands and arms. In body language terminology most of these are referred to as "Illustrators" (although in common parlance most people simply call them "gestures").

Most of the time the President is far superior compared to most politicians in his quality use of illustrators - and typically he strikes a very good balance between alpha or beta - and relatively rarely deviates from quality body language. This speech however was a significant exception.

No doubt the President felt and continues to feel great anguish at the death of the American photo-journalist and the other innocents killed, raped and assaulted by ISIS/ISIL. However, his anxiety and beta behavior is shown by, among other things, essentially no use of his hands and arms throughout this speech. It is, of course, easy for anyone to comment or critique when they do not bear the burden of high office, yet if Mr. Obama had used his more typical quality nonverbal illustrators - with even a modest amount of more alpha and assertive emphasis - it would have better served him at driving home his points in such a crucial speech.

My sincere condolences to the family and loved-ones of James Foley and the multitudes of others who are suffering in Iraq and Syria at the hands of ISIS/ISIL.

See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2926: Baby Hears Lion's Roar for First Time - Body Language Tells (VIDEO, PHOTOS)

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2923: Barack Obama, Jaw Clenching and Diffusing Anger - Body Language as a Form of Biofeedback

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2511:  Barack Obama & Vladimir Putin  Handshake at 2013 G20 Meeting

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2150:  Body Language Advice for  President Obama and Governor Romney in Tonight's Debate

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 1871: Barack Obama  Explains His "Private Sector is Doing Fine" Comment -  The "Dominant Spider" vs.The "Split-Finger Fastball" 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2877: Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez Dating - Thumbs Forward Arms Akimbo  

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Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2923: Barack Obama, Jaw Clenching and Diffusing Anger - Body Language as a Form of Biofeedback (PHOTOS)

In this image taken recently during the President's vacation on Martha's Vineyard, Mr. Obama took some time out to comment on the dynamic situations in Iraq including the resignation of Nouri al-Maliki and the Yazidi's plight from their entrapment on Mt. Sinjar.

Whether you agree or disagree with Barack Obama's politics, you probably recognize his superior speaking ability - but you may not be as cognizant of his superior nonverbal skills. You may also be aware of how - unlike many other elected leaders - he is better than most at not letting negative words or actions affect his demeanor. Yet few realize that all of these are intimately connected - the verbal, the nonverbal, emotional awareness and emotional control. This phenomenon is subtly illustrated in the image above.

Jaw clenching is a body language signal highly consistent with anger (although it can be seen in other settings depending on the other nonverbals with which it is clustered). Additional nonverbal anger signs here include the eyebrows being drawn together as well as their downward-vectoring. Nostril flaring also accompanies anger (along with some other emotions). All of these are present in this picture of POTUS.

The President's jaw clenching can be easily seen in this photo. It is important to note however, that there is no jutting of the jaw (a forward displacement of the mandible often resulting in a momentary under-bite). Because Barack's teeth are clenched, his lip cannot roll inwards - which often occurs during the moments far from emotional baseline - so bunching up of the lips and adjacent tissue occurs (A "Peri-lip Bulge" - here in abundance). Chin dimpling is also seen.

In the presence of jaw clenching (as long as there is no jaw jutting) - if the back part (posterior) of the jaw is clenched tighter - the anger tends to be greater and this action facilitates an escalation of the anger. When the front portion (anterior) of the jaw is the primary focus of the tightening - the anger tends to be less - and in this tends to engender the anger's decrescendo. This is a form of body language biofeedback. Of course there are many other factors which may build or lessen anger or any negative emotion in these crucial "refractory periods" - but this is a valuable one. Where does your jaw tighten when you grow angry? Are you even aware of this? How do you dial this down?

Emotional self-awareness is relatively rare. The ability to down-regulate negative emotions is even scarcer. Nonverbal techniques learned and practiced will increase emotional self-recognition and thus aide in self-de-escalation.

See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2922: Evacuating Yazidis from Iraq's Mount Sinjar - A Daughter's Anguish, Empathy and Mirror Neurons

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2195:  Sen. John McCain's Body Language when Comparisons made between Condoleezza Rice to Susan Rice & War with Iraq to Benghazi, Libya Attack

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2517:  Bashar al-Assad Fears Over-Throw if U.S. Attacks,  Body Language Tell During Charlie Rose Interview  Part II

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2469: Anthony Weiner, Huma Abedin and the NYC Mayoral Race Body Language & the Five Burroughs, Part I

Nonverbal Communication Quiz-Analysis No. 2869: Barack Obama's Executive Action on Immigration Reform, The Rose Garden 30 June 2014 - Sincere or Insincere?

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Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2922: Evacuating Yazidis from Iraq's Mount Sinjar - A Daughter's Anguish, Empathy and Mirror Neurons (PHOTOS)

Recently, many of Iraq's Yazidi population were trapped on Mount Sinjar surrounded by ISIS forces. Within the past week, after U.S. airstrikes weakened ISIS, some of them have escaped on their own, others have been killed or captured - and others are still there. This mother and her 15 year-old daughter were among two of the few who were evacuated.

This particular image is very empathy evoking - but do you know why? The girl is grieving for her father who was left behind and for what will happen to him. 

When a person's central forehead contracts (CFC) accompanied by a mouth expression indicative of sadness, fright or pain (emotional or physical pain) - it elicits very strong empathy for those who see it. Often we don't even have to know the person, yet we feel their anguish. The ability to feel another person(s) (or animal's) emotion is empathy. Although there may be many (as yet undiscovered) mechanisms which engender empathy, one of these is the healthy functioning of mirror neurons. Those with a deficit of, or hypo-functional mirror neurons will therefore also have an empathy deficit - or even an absence of it (e.g. Narcissists, Sociopaths, etc.).

This girl is just at the moment where she's beginning to cry. It is extremely characteristic that the central forehead contracts and elevates (with the peripheral forehead muscles being relaxed) during this crucial moment. It is also extremely emotionally provoking in people who witness such moments (in those who have higher empathy quotients).

Some people can bring on false tears, yet in such cases of the commencement of tears - their central foreheads are not contracted in this manner (rather for example, the entire width of their forehead is elevated or the central forehead is pulled together but lowered instead).

My prayers and wishes for the reunification of this and all families affected by this event.

Photo Credit: Warzer Jaff

Media Inquiries and Keynote Appearances 

One-on-One and Online Courses Available 

Jack@BodyLanguageSuccess.com

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See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2921: Eve Hewson (Bono's Daughter) Recounts Phone Pranking Justin Timberlake

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 2787: Korean Ferry Sinking, Empathy and Emotional Processing - Body Language

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 1732:  Rationalization, Rapport, Empathy Expression  How Jewel got her name 

Nonverbal Communication Exercise # 2012: Got Empathy?  An Appeal to Asma al-Assad  Diplomacy through Unconventional Channels

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2052:  Dialing Up Empathy and Sincerity -  Mitt Romney's & Barack Obama's Response to  Aurora, Colorado "Batman Shooting"

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Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2195: Sen. John McCain's Body Language when Comparisons made between Condoleezza Rice to Susan Rice & War with Iraq to Benghazi, Libya Attack

As in many interviews of high level officials regarding very important issues, there is here an abundance of body language displayed by John McCain in this Anderson Cooper CNN video. A multitude of nonverbals indicate that the Arizona Senator believes that there was incompetence or worse with regards to the attack on the American Embassy in Benghazi, Libya on 11 Sept. 2012 - as well as how information regarding this event was released to the American public. He is sincere in his beliefs, and for him, this is not political posturing. One (of many) classic nonverbal example of this belief is his "Self-Righteous Head Wiggle" (SRHW) exampled at 1:07 - 1:11.

However, at the 4:26 mark and again at 4:32, McCain displays two examples of a nose rub. This classic body language MAP (Manipulator, Adaptor, Pacifier) indicates that, during this interview, McCain had very significant anxiety about how he felt regarding the reasons the U.S., at the time, made for going to War with Iraq. Moreover, with this particular MAP display in the context of this line of questioning - as well as other nonverbals, indicates there is a high probability that John McCain believes deception took place. So while nonverbal analysis reveals the former republican Presidential Candidate adamantly believes that "There's something rotten in Denmark" regarding the events in Benghazi on 11 Sept. 2012 and how they have since been handled - he also feels very uncomfortable reliving the decision making process and other circumstances which led America into the 2003 Invasion of Iraq.

It is notable that the left side of Senator McCain's face is hypo-reactive as he suffered a peripheral cranial nerve VII palsy, probably "Bell's Palsy", several years ago from which he has residual partial facial paralysis. This makes his body language signals more difficult to interpret to the untrained eye.

See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2156: Barack Obama's Body Language at Al Smith Charity Dinner -  Comedy, White Lies and Facial Touching MAPs

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2175: Mayor Bloomberg, Body Language,  Hurricane Sandy and the NYC Marathon

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2033:  Lie Detection, Sergey Lavrov and Syria

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2158: Kennebunk Maine, Alexis Wright, Prostitution &  Spotting the Body Language of the Self Righteous

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2148: Joe Biden vs. Paul Ryan and the "Self-Righteous Head Wiggle" in the Vice Presidential Debate 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2167:  Colin Powell Endorses President Obama -  His Body Language Display of Anxiety, Contempt & the  Self-Righteous Head Wiggle 

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