Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Romance & Dating Body Language Secret # 33:
Classically Flirtatious

Here Maria Menounos displays a nearly classic over-the-shoulder flirtatious look.  She is looking over her raised right shoulder, with a modest social smile (Note she is not showing a complete, sincere smile - while this is ironic to some, which allows her eyes to be a bit more open and on display, is a nonverbal which is more flirtatious in this setting). Maria's head is mildly down-turned and her wide, doe-eyed gaze is looking at her man of interest.

Although the beautiful Ms. Menounos does quite well on autopilot, this flirtatious look would be even more evocative if her head would have been more down-turned, giving the appearance of looking up more. Some additional body language cues - such as if Maria would have been biting her lower lip slightly or perhaps coyly licking her lip - would have every man in sight believing she was "the one".


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Public Speaking Secret # 133:
The Basketball Steeple

Rather than using the conventional steeple gesture, strongly consider using the "Basketball Steeple" instead - as demonsrated above by Ukranian President Viktor Yankovych. It gets its name because it looks like the speaker is holding an invisible basketball. A great example of an empowering "illustrator", it has the advantages of projecting authority and confidence, without appearing arrogant - as the Conventional Steeple does. President Barack Obama uses the Basketball Steeple to his advantage quite often


Monday, December 14, 2009

Defense! Defense! Defense! .... and a False Smile...

Ms. Sofya Trotsenko, head of the Winzavod Center of Contemporary Art in Moscow, displays a tight-lipped false smile in this photograph.  It is commonly seen when people are trying to give a polite impression, but their real emotions are not just neutral or disinterested, but considerably negative.  People also display it when they are holding back a secret or have just spoken a partial truth.  Note how Sofya's mid-face is tightened and her "smile", although it looks slightly upturned because of her downward head tilt, is horizontal.  Her eyes are wide open which is never consistent with a true, felt smile.

Ms. Trotsenko's right hand is reaching across her front. It looks like she might be adjusting her hair or scratching - but this is a great example of a manipulator aka pacifier.  In this setting, it is an indicator of defensive-anxiety.

Her downward head tilt is also consistent with a defensive posture.  It can also be associated with anger, but because her forehead is relaxed and her eyebrows are not drawn together or downwardly displaced, we can be sure that here - Soyfa's head tilt is caused by a defensive emotional tone.


Friday, December 11, 2009

Negotiation Secret # 323:
You Never want to miss this Emotion

In this photo, actress Anna Paquin is displaying the classic (although in a mild to moderate amount in this example) expression of contempt.  This is an extremely important expression - always accurate and always with consequences.  If you see it - there's a problem, either in your marriage or perhaps in your employment.

The fact is most people don't notice this emotion - even in retrospect.  It often appears on the face for just an instant - as little as 1/40th of a second.  This display is known as a microexpression.  It is entirely subconscious.  Of course, there are many other emotions which are displayed as briefly.  Only about one in 300 people can see microexpressions naturally, but virtually everyone can be taught to see them.