On Friday, Donald Trump visited briefly with Queen Elizabeth II. Royal protocol dictates that you should never walk in front of the Queen - nor should you ever turn your back to her. The American President managed to do both - after he had kept her waiting for fifteen minutes.
It may seem obvious to most people that etiquette is profoundly important when one visits royalty. And the next time you drop by Windsor Castle, you'd be would be well-advised to practice and prepare. However, when you forget the proper protocol - it's always wise to let empathy direct your actions. That's assuming, of course, that you have empathy. After all, the Queen is 92 years old, was walking on uneven ground - and, theoretically, another leader should be trying to build rapport - not insulting her.
Now, occasionally, even well-mannered, empathetic people will be caught up in anxiety or distractions and walk in front of their wife, husband, or significant other. However, when this becomes a pattern - when a person consistently walks in front of their partner - it's a behavior that's strongly correlated with narcissistic personality disorder.
In addition, when a man routinely walks in front of his girlfriend or wife - it's a strong sign of objectification. This is a man who thinks of her as something to be used - as property, rather than an equal.
Moreover, men who physically or emotionally abuse their partners will routinely walk in front - rather than at their sides.
SUMMARY: If one wasn't familiar with Donald Trump, they might conclude that his act of walking in front of Queen Elizabeth II as well as turning his back on her - was due to him being unfamiliar with Royal protocol, having a bad day, or just simple rudeness. President Trump, however, demonstrates a long-term pattern of this behavior with all his wives and other women. Such frequency is highly correlative with Narcissistic Personality Disorder - which, of course, includes his absence of empathy.
In the light of Matt Lauer's recent firing and with the news of his long-standing behavior recently made public, multiple requests for the re-posting of this article (from 2016) have been made in the last several days. It's included here in its entirety (with updated cross-reference links at the end of the article).
What follows is a partial body language analysis of Melania Trump and Donald Trump in an interview with Matt Lauer yesterday morning.
At 0:59 in the above video MATT LAUER continues: One part of that campaign ends in that hall tonight - another part begins. Your wife is going to get to speak to the delegates ...
DONALD TRUMP: Right.
MATT LAUER: About you. Has she gone over the speech with you? Did you practice it on the plane?
MELANIA TRUMP: I read once over it, and that's all - because I wrote it and ah, li- [stutter], with a little help - as possible soooooo ....
MATT LAUER: Are you nervous?
MELANIA TRUMP: No-
MATT LAUER [over-talking]:It would be okay to be nervous.
MELANIA TRUMP: I'm excited.
MATT LAUER: Yeah?
MELANIA TRUMP: Yeah. It's exciting night.
MATT LAUER: What do you want to tell the delegates, Mrs. Trump, about your husband, that they haven't learned in the last year?
MELANIA TRUMP: Well I will tell it in the speech - and, ahhh, he's ah, an amazing -
DONALD TRUMP: Yeah
MATT LAUER: Yeah, she looks good, she's learned a lot from you. That was really good. Go ahead, continue.
MELANIA TRUMP [over-talking]: Soooo, he's an amazing guy, and ah, he really wants to bring ah, America to the next level.
Matt Lauer touching Melania Trump on the arm (during 1:10 as he says, "... practice ...) is an invasion of her personal (intimate space) and is one signal of false affection. It also is highly consistent with narcissism.
Note that on multiple occasions, Lauer refers to Mrs. Trump as if she wasn't there - in the third person:
"... Your wife is going to get to speak to the delegates ..."
"... Has she gone over the speech with you?"
"... Yeah, she looks good ..."
"... she's learned a lot from you ..."
This last example is also particularly patronizing.
Notice too, Lauer interrupts Mrs. Trump on multiple occasions.
Now flash back to the very beginning of Lauer's interview - he's leaning on the back of a seat. While this may appear to be an attempt at being casual - this dynamic is Lauer's baseline behavior of trying to assert dominance when it's out-of-context.
Focusing on Melania, during 1:14, she shrugs her left shoulder and rotates her torso toward Donald as she says, "... that'sall ..."
A shoulder shrug indicates, "I don't care"/"What does it matter?", "I don't know", or "What could I do?/What choice did I have?"
During 1:15 as she says, "... because I wrote it and ...", Melania looks to her right, blinks, and looks slightly down. Looking in this quadrant in right-hand dominant individuals is very often correlated with emotional overtones of sadness, regret and other forms of emotional discomfort. For her to look in this direction (and AWAY from Lauer) the instant she says "... I ...", strongly implies deception.
Just as she says, "... and ah, li- [stutter], with ...", Melania looks down to her left. Gaze in this direction in most right-handed people is very often associated with "internal dialog" (e.g., here deciding how to phrase an answer).
Importantly, Melania is also stuttering and again, she's looking away from Lauer.
Also of profound significance here is Donald Trump's body language. The instant after Melania says, "... because I wrote it ..." - HE TURNS AWAY. Donald Trump knew his wife was lying. Note he keeps his same facial expression - but we see a change manifested elsewhere on his body. This is an excellent example of what in nonverbal parlance is termed "Leakage".
As Melania says, "... with as little help as possible soooooo ....", both the pitch and volume of her voice increase, she leans forward with her head, neck, and torso (a "Neck Stretch"), with a Self-Righteous Head Wiggle display, her eyebrows elevate and her forehead contracts across its entire width and also elevates. In addition, she ends her sentence with the stretched-out word, "... soooooo ...". This nonverbal-verbal-paralanguage cluster is highly consistent with deception. She is emotionally uncomfortable talking about her upcoming speech and wants Lauer to change the subject.
Summary: While this analysis cannot directly discern any intent of plagiarism on her part (or her speech writer's), Melania Trump did lie when she said she had "... as little help as possible ..." writing her speech - and Donald Trump knew she was lying.
Matt Lauer's verbal, nonverbal, and paralanguage behavior are not only rude - these are classic manifestations of narcissism, invasion of personal (intimate) space/false affection, and misogyny.
For months it has been widely known that seventeen US intelligence agencies, including the CIA, FBI, NSA, and The Office of the Director of National Intelligence - all agree that Russia aggressively interfered with the 2016 US Presidential Election. It's also common knowledge that Donald Trump openly says that he doesn't believe Russia is guilty of this offense. The whole World also knows Vladimir Putin denies that Russia interfered in any way with the US election.
It's in this context that the following nonverbal analysis is made.
Note very early in this video (during 0:02) - as President Trump walks in back of President Putin, Trump calls his name. Once Putin orients himself, and as he begins to turn and stand, Trump embraces the Russian leader. He reaches his arm fully around Putin's back, beneath his opposite (right) arm.
To reach around another head-of-state's back to this degree - a considerable embrace - particularly in the context of the Russia conspiracy coverage and Robert Mueller's investigation - for a President to display this nonverbal dynamic in this context demonstrates only a limited number of possibilities:
• Affection
• High level of Familiarity (overlaps with affection)
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder §
• Hubris (overlaps with Narcissism)
• Combination of above
More specifically, this is very much akin to the psychology of a witness/accomplice who, after returning to the scene of the crime, is standing just outside of the perimeter of the yellow police tape. It's a nonverbal display of bravado.
Moreover, it also very much says, "Why would I hug/embrace Vladimir Putin if he were guilty of hacking the US Elections?"
Nonverbally, this is also an analog of the very common behavior of some individuals, who, when guilty of lying - look you right in the eye. It's an over-compensation phenomenon (e.g., "Everyone knows liars don't look you in the eye, right? See, I'm looking you right in your eyes.")
A non-guilty narcissist §, one who is capable of contextualizing, would not behave in this manner. This is something more. It's a ruse, a camouflage - an attempt at misdirection.
The video above shows the US President and First Lady being received by President Macron and his wife, Brigette Macron.
What follows is a partial nonverbal analysis of this greeting - concentrating specifically on Donald Trump and Brigette Macron.
Note that after shaking President Macron's hand - President Trump then extends his hand toward Brigette Macron.
In this instant, it seemed like normal handshake choreography.
Their hands' touch ... or almost touch.
But Donald Trump aborts the handshake - and begins to reach his right hand around Brigette Marcon's left side.
Donald Trump then grips Brigette Macron's upper arms - while she, similarly, but more loosely touches Trump. They kiss one cheek.
And then the other cheek.
Brigette Macron then breaks contact with her left hand (in which she's holding her purse) - while Donald Trump grips her right hand.
Trump then pulls Macron's hand and arm towards him.
He twice performs this pronounced pulling action - the second time being quite unnaturally elevated.
Trump then again touches (grips) Brigette Maron's left arm - just above her elbow - while still holding on to her right hand.
President Trump committed two fundamental and profound body language errors in this greeting:
1. Once a man initiates a handshake - by extending his hand to a woman - he should never change his greeting to a hug unless by her invitation. This is, of course, an even more crucial faux pas when it's their first meeting.
The same principle also holds true if the woman is the first one extending a hand. Such a "Bait and Switch Handshake-Hug" is an invasion of personal (intimate) space for which the overwhelming majority of women find offensive and very emotionally uncomfortable.
2. The pulling of another person's hand close to one's torso - particularly when vectored upward is also highly offensive. Moreover, it's also a reliable signal of narcissistic personality disorder. This axiom is true regardless of the gender of the recipient.
Furthermore - when a man performs this hyper-alpha/narcissistic handshake with a woman - it also indicates a personality disorder which objectifies women - viewing the female gender as property to be used (rather than an equal).
It's been widely noted and almost as widely satirized, that, when shaking hands, President Trump has very consistently, pulled the other person's hand quite close to him - forcefully - often to such a degree to even disturb their balance.
Yet what is much less appreciated is another highly negative component of his handshake mistake. Note in the image above, President Trump initially engages Xi Jinping's hand at a level approximately even with each man's upper abdomen. But immediately afterward (image below) Trump not only pulls Xi's hand close to his body - and he also raises the Chinese leader's arm much higher (mid-chest) than is comfortable or traditional (in any culture).
Summary:
During a handshake, both the act of
1. Pulling of the other person's hand-arm close to oneself
as well as
2. An upward vectoring of the other person's hand-arm unit
are both Hyper-Alpha displays - attempting to project power and control. Moreover, when a person's handshake choreography consistently follows this pattern - it's one very strong signal of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Trump responded [over-talking], "Oh, oh, oh, okay - okay - okay, that's good - and I'm going to go back on point now okay (pause) okay."
All the video of this event becomes blurry just prior to this specific time of his speech, however we can still see enough nonverbal detail to note that Trump is sincerely surprised by this sudden turn of events. Note that Trump's mouth opens in a vertically-oriented oval shape without the exposure of any teeth. When surprise is feigned, people mouth's will take on much more of a horizontally oriented oval (or circle) in addition to displaying teeth. Professional actors routinely get this wrong. Trump's surprise was sincere - Reverend Green Timmons' caught him off-guard.
Less visible are Trump's eyelids which are opened significantly wider than baseline as well as his raised eyebrows and an upward contracted forehead. These changes are also consistent with the emotion of surprise.
Note also how Mr. Trump grabs hold of Rev. Green Timmons' hands. This is not only an invasion of her personal space (intimate space) in a display of false intimacy, but it's also is an attempt at dominance (although her a failed one) and a sign of narcissism.
This post is the first of several body language analyses regarding this debate and is not intended to be comprehensive - but to highlight specific nonverbal examples in a teaching forum.
This exchange between Ben Carson, Donald Trump and the debate moderator, Jake Tapper - dealt with the subject of autism and how some people feel that perhaps vaccinations have a causative relationship. Dr. Carson pointed out that the medical research does not support this popular opinion but recognized that vaccines in infancy and childhood should be spread out over a longer duration - which Donald Trump had just said (although a bit less eloquently).
Trump then reiterates and agrees with Carson interrupting, "And that's all I'm saying Jake, that's all I'm saying."
A second later, Trump then touches Carson on his elbow. This act was an invasion of Carson's personal space (more specifically his "intimate space") and outside the scenario of culturally recognized invitation (e.g., handshake, "high-five","low-five", fist bump, etc.) should never have been done - particularly in such a public setting. While the elbow is indeed the least invasive place to touch another person - such a clear display of "False Intimacy" was a manifestation (one of many) of Trump's Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's a patronizing act and an attempt to show dominance. Note this body language is also highly incongruent with Trump's earlier statement - referring to Carson as an "Okay
doctor, not a great doctor."
In business, negotiation, personal scenarios, etc. - touching another person when it's uninvited will destroy rapport - usually irreparably. Once a certain level of familiarity, comfort and rapport has truly been established - then carefully selected touching can further enhance rapport - but NOT before. Even then, such an act should be reserved, for the most part, for personal, non-business and private/semi-private settings.
Even as Trump is still touching Carson, both men turn away from each other - with their heads and necks - as well subtly turning and leaning with their torsos.
These simultaneous subconsciously driven acts indicate their mutual disdain for what just occurred.
This website serves as an objective reference source for the science and
art of Body Language/Nonverbal Communication. In an effort to be both
practical and academic, many examples from/of varied cultures,
politicians, professional athletes, legal cases, public figures, etc.
are cited in order to teach and illustrate both the interpretation of
others’ body language as well as the projection of one’s own nonverbal
skills in many different contexts – not to advance any political,
religious or other agenda.
It is common knowledge that boredom and sleepiness are associated with yawning. Less well known is the correlation between yawning with anxiety and even hunger. There is also research indicating that a yawn is one mechanism with which humans use to cool their brains.
The degree to which others mirror those who are yawning has also been shown to be associated with empathy. We tend to mirror yawning with a significantly greater frequency in those with whom we have greater affection - spouses, children, other family - less so with friends - and it drops off even further with co-workers and acquaintances, etc. Of course, yawning is only one of a vast multitude of behaviors which is mirrored.
This phenomenon exists, at least in part due to the presence and function of what are known as "Mirror Neurons" (Collectively these are known as the Mirror-Neuron-System [MNS]. A better name for these may be "Empathy Neurons"). Moreover there are different sub-types of mirror neurons and much remains to be discovered.
Those individuals with autism spectrum disorder have a relative deficit (and/or hypo-functionality) of one (or more) varieties of mirror neurons. Others - with narcissistic personality disorder and sociopaths have a deficiency or functional problem with another sub-type of mirror neurons. Intriguingly, sociopaths (antisocial personality disorder) and those with narcissistic personalities are much less likely to yawn when they witness other people yawning. This correlation is but one of many nonverbal signals indicative of higher (or lower) empathy quotients. What others can you name?
It will not come as a surprise to many dog lovers (for they are a species noted for high empathy)
that not only are yawns are also contagious from dog-to-owner as well as from
owner-to-dog.
This photo should make you cringe - if it doesn't, there's a good chance you're a narcissist or you have a degree of autism. This should be true (perhaps even more so) even if you're a democrat, voted for Barack Obama and you believe he's doing a good job. Here the American President is shown invading the personal spaces (more specifically within the intimate spaces) of German Chancellor Angela Merkel and Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi at the 2015 G7 meeting in the German State of Bavaria over the weekend.
With some notable exceptions (e.g. greetings/handshakes, crowded public transportation, stadiums/theaters, sporting contests, self-defense, etc.) entering into someone's intimate space or personal space should only be done when there is a significant level of familiarity and affection present. To do so otherwise destroys rapport and is a provoking behavior. It makes people emotionally uncomfortable. Thus it alters their perception of you too. A person may keep a "smile" (though not a sincere one) on their face, however such invasive actions will alienate. If you want to build bridges and/or you need to win people over to your way of thinking - keep this in mind. It doesn't matter who you are or what you've accomplished - it applies to everyone.
Oh, and this over-growth of the ego doesn't discriminate either ....
