Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3846: Donald Trump, Shinzō Abe and Handshake Faux Pas - Body Language and Emotional Intelligence (VIDEO, PHOTOS)

Prime Minister Shinzō Abe met with Donald Trump yesterday at the White House. As virtually all World Leaders do, the two men posed for a highly photographed handshake - this one in The Oval Office. It's a safe assumption that the two men also shook hands when they first met earlier that day in relative privacy. Thus it's also probable that at that first meeting only their official government photographers captured that handshake. Such private-first, public-second handshake choreographing is commonplace with heads-of-states visits.

At the very end of this video, Prime Minister Abe turns to his head, and torso to his right, with his eyes turning further - looking up and to his right. This is an example of a "Suppressed Eye Roll". Some have suggested that Abe did this because of the length of the handshake, yet this was not the reason. These longer, hyper-posed, pseudo handshakes for the public are common place when prime ministers and presidents meet. The real cause of the Japanese Prime Minister's expression was because Trump deliberately squeezed his hand quite hard - and he was in pain.

This was a silent scream.

During attempts to suppress strong emotions, such as pain or tears of sadness - forceful eye gaze is a common nonverbal epiphenomenon. This behavior is most commonly seen in a primarily upward direction (photo above shows this direction somewhat), yet it can occur in other directions too (e.g., a slit second later [below] Shinzō Abe's looks directly to his right [away from the source of his pain]).

Although short-lived, it's difficult to overlook the extreme configuration of the Prime Minister's mouth - which, when coupled with the Elevated Central Forehead Contraction - indicates emotional and/or physical pain.

He also rotates his head - and to a lesser degree his torso - away from Donald Trump.

If you carefully listen to the video, you'll here Prime Minister Abe say, "Please - look at me." (0:32 -0:34). A fundamental truth across most all cultures (there are rare exceptions for some superior-subordinate scenarios) is that during handshakes, eye contact is of profound importance. Little or no eye contact projects strong feelings of disrespect.

Trump repeatedly and quickly pulls Shinzō Abe's hand-arm toward his chest with a jerking motion. This body language variant is a default of the President's and is an extremely common narcissistic behavior. It's an attempt to project power and a hyper-alpha status (e.g., "Don't forget I'm stronger than you").

Trump also bent (flexed) his Japanese counterpart's wrist to about a 45 degree angle. Coupled with grip strength, this added another component of pain. It's facilitated by Trump's upward vectoring of their hands (It's not normal for handshakes as well as being disrespectful).

Intriguingly, Mr. Trump immediately verbally outs himself when he says, "Strong hands -" then gesturing the bending motion he had just performed (0:43 - 0:45). Trump knew this had not been a "normal" handshake maneuver and he was aware he had hurt the prime minister (this is akin to a guilty child telling his mother he didn't eat the last cookie before anyone asks).

It cannot be over emphasized that, during a handshake, one should always match the grip strength of the other person. This principle is universal - true across all cultures. Some people have been (very) wrongly taught that a good handshake requires a strong grip - don't make this mistake. Be aware enough, and in the moment enough, so that you match the other person's grip strength. And never try to intimidate the other person by squeezing too tightly.

Trump touches the back of Shinzō Abe's hand toward the end of the lengthy handshake. Their relative positions and the fact that Abe's hand is on top makes a "double-hander" handshake more likely. This maneuver up-regulates Trump's portion of the handshake to a higher alpha status.

Notice this is also performed via a patting motion rather than with constant contact. While I would not recommend either form of the double-hander for a person in Trump's specific scenario - the patting motion dynamic projects a particularly patronizing emotional tone (e.g., patting a child on the head).


See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3845: Kellyanne Conway's Commercial for Ivanka Trump

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3842: Bill Belichick and Julian Edelman

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3840: Donald Trump regarding Vladimir Putin: 'We've Got A Lot of Killers. Do You Think Our Country Is So Innocent?

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3829: Mary Tyler Moore - Flirtatious, Sexy, Alpha Female Smile

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3799: Carrie Fisher and Princess Leia - Full Lips and Lip Pursing

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3711: Vin Scully calls Kirk Gibson's legendary walk-off homer during Game 1 of the 1988 World Series

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3659: Ryan Lochte's "Today Show" Interview regarding Alleged Rio Robbery

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3594: Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Fareed Zakaria


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Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3836: President Trump nominates Judge Neil Gorsuch for The Supreme Court - Body Language and Emotional Intelligence (VIDEO, PHOTOS)

On Tuesday, President Trump nominated Neil Gorsuch for the United States Supreme Court - where, since the death of Antonin Scalia, a seat has been vacant for almost a year. From a body language perspective, there were many interesting moments on display during each man's speech - as well as their interactions. And one of these in particular was of the five-alarm fire variety.

As Gorsuch finishes his speech, he turns around to the President and the two men begin to shake hands (at 13:00). Several times during this handshake Donald Trump pulls Judge Gorsuch's hand close to his chest. Moreover he did this with such force that it straighten out the nominee's arm and brought his upper body along with it. With the last of these forceful pulls, Gorsuch even had to take a small step toward Trump - as the President threw him off-balance.

When a person consistently pulls the other person's hand close to their chest during handshakes - it's a hyper-alpha signal of dominance and narcissism. When it is done with such force - it has an additional deliberate intimidation component. Donald Trump shakes Neil Gorsuch's hand in this manner to impress upon him the President's power and dominance - while doing so on a World Stage - reminds Gorsuch and the World exactly who's the boss. Such a handshake is a rapport destroyer. Indeed it's a form of psychological assault ... and such an interaction will stick in Gorsuch's emotional memory for the duration of his service on the Supreme Court.

See also:


Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3835: Beauty and the Beast – Official Final Trailer

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3833: Samuel L. Jackson, Magic Johnson and a Yacht

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3831: Donald Trump's and Theresa May's Press Conference

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3806: The Bachelor Nick Viall Awkwardly Reunites with Ex-Girlfriends Andi Dorfman and Kaitlyn Bristowe on Jimmy Kimmel

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3791: Russian Ambassador to Turkey Assassinated in Ankara

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3746: Alicia Keys, Questlove, Krispy Kremes and Connecting the Dots 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3700: George Clooney comments regarding the News of Brad Pitt's and Angelina Jolie's Divorce

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 3619: Lone Protester, Baton Rouge Police and Body Language


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Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 1874: Bad Handshake - Political Prevalence

In this image, Mitt Romney is committing an essentially ubiquitous mistake among politicians (regardless of party) - the "Political Double-Hander" (Pease). There are many ways to sabotage a handshake and this is but one. A common error of over-alpha-males, the double-hander is universally negatively received. It's a rapport destroyer. The average person makes some allowances for this bad-greeting within the context of the politics - but if a candidate wants to build rapport and presumably your vote, they absolutely should refrain from using it (and outside the realm of politics, its use substantially increases the likelihood of narcissistic personality disorder). Be warned - unless a person knows you fairly well, the double-hander is a nonverbal indication that they want something from you. Here the former Massachusetts Governor obviously wants her vote.

See also:

Analysis # 731: Beautiful Prime Minister - Bad Handshake

Analysis # 703: Bad Handshake? - Let me Count the Ways!

Analysis # 1041: Russia's Dominance Over Syria

Analysis # 1510: Handshakes, Statesmanship and Dominance - Manmohan Singh & Asif Ali Zardari

Analysis # 379: Dominant Handshake Tendencies

Analysis # 1131: Romney's Handshake, Santorum's Bicep and Dominance 

Analysis # 1032: Romney, Rapport and Handshakes

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Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1041: Russia's Dominance over Syria

The Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov asserts his and his country's dominance in this recent handshake and subsequent meeting with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. Lavrov's hand is rotated about 70 degrees from the neutral position - with his clearly on top. When each palm is perpendicular to the floor, the ability of a handshake to engender rapport is maximized. The Russian is not interested in rapport however, as this image clearly demonstrates he has come to display authority and power for the motherland.... and again the Syrian acquiesces to The Bear.

See also: Leadership Secret # 112: Pakistan Trumps Iran

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 731: Body Language, a Beautiful Prime Minister and a Bad Handshake - Yingluck Shinawatra

Yingluck Shinawatra is the first female Prime Minister of Thailand. Here she is shown shaking hands with Japan's Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda - although for a head-of-state, she's not doing so very well.

The handshake is great example of a "Goldilocks" body language. Similar to the fairy tale of the same name, it has to be performed in a "not too much, not too little, but just right" manner. Neglecting to use this nonverbal middle ground sends very wrong messages. When there isn't enough extension of the arm during a handshake (e.g. as Ms. Shinawatra displays above), messages of non-engagement and aloofness are transmitted. However extending the arm too much (see Negotiation Secret # 299: At Arm's Length) sends signals of distancing (e.g. "I'm not really sure about you", or "I don't really like you that much" or "I don't really want to be here", etc.). Prime Minister Noda strikes a happy medium however, and is extending his arm in an ideal in between (Goldilocks) manner.

Notice also how much Prime Minister Shinawatra is leaning forward. Having a table between two people shaking hands (as in the above example) is highly discouraged. Taking time to walk around to the other side of the table/desk when shaking hands builds warmth and rapport. Ms. Shinawatra amplifies this error by engaging in the handshake while standing further from the table than her Japanese counterpart. This increased distance necessitates a forward lean - and along with the interposition of the table sends a distancing, non-rapport, non-bonding building body language message identical to that described in the above paragraph. The opposite scenario of shaking hands standing too close - will make others feel uncomfortable, sometimes very uncomfortable. Entering into another's personal space should be reserved only for those who we know very well and feel comfortable hugging.

The Thai Leader is also not making any eye contact. While this is obviously a posed photograph, it is imperative to remember that quality and sincere eye contact (as Prime Minister Yoshidiko Noda exemplifies) cannot be over-emphasized. Not all "Bonding Moments" are created equal - and those during the few seconds of a well executed handshake will set the tone for entire diplomatic, business and personal relationships.

To her credit, Prime Minister Shinawatra is displaying a fairly good social smile - however Mr. Noda's smile has a higher "Sincerity Quotient" and indeed is a sincere smile - highly indicative of happiness-joy emotions. Each leader's hand and finger position is optimal here as well - with a symmetrical, neither-on-top, equal-dominance configuration - each palm being perpendicular to the floor.

A quality and sincere handshake has more components (some but not all of them delineated here) than most otherwise socially adept people realize and even very few CXOs perform them well - thus they squander the precious moments and opportunities of an initial greeting or re-greeting. Shakespeare's Brutus spoke it well:

There is a tide in the affairs of men, 
which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
and we must take the current when it serves,
or lose our ventures.

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Negotiation Secret # 703: Bad Handshake? Let me count the ways!

State Senator Dan Patrick (R) of Houston, Texas is almost a living caricature of how not to shake hands. If it wasn't so sad - it would be funny. First off, when it's reasonably possible, if you're at the podium and you're introducing someone - step out from behind the podium. It's not about you - it's about them. Don't pull them into you either - your arm should be extended, but not over reaching. Mr. Patrick also looks like he's giving former Governor Sarah Palin (R) Alaska, a traditional "feminine-style" hand position - with is hand cupped and not fully opened (Sidebar: a traditional feminine handshake should NOT be used in a business/political/leadership setting - otherwise ladies, the men won't take you seriously). In addition, he is being overly dominant in twisting his hand so that it is on top of her's. If you're a state senator, you should be very aware of the pecking order - and present your hand in the vertical plane, perpendicular to the ground (Remember, Sarah Palin is a former Governor and VP Candidate. Mr. Patrick is very much her junior.). Another error, the most noticeable one here is - don't invade the other person's personal space. It's too dominant when you're introducing a superior and most women will consider it an unwelcome advance or at least, very chauvinistic. It's one thing to stand too close, it's another to lean in - almost as if you're going to kiss them. Your job is to make the other person feel welcomed and to (hopefully) develop some rapport. Whew .... I'm getting tired. Don't grab anyone's elbow, arm or shoulder unless you are truly well acquainted, and never in front of an audience. Again, it is disrespectful and patronizing. 

Sarah is doing a pretty good job compensating, certainly better than most - but notice the obvious "pull back" and twisting of her upper body. For her part, Palin should have her left hand/arm free - or at the very least her phone should be put away and her tablet better arranged. Such choreography would have allowed her to "square-up" and face Patrick with her whole body - thus she'd be displaying less defensive/beta behavior, superior bonding would be possible and the better able she would be to deal with this over-compensating alpha male in a more "momma grizzly" manner.

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