Blake Lively and her boyfriend, Penn Badgley are shown hugging in this photo on the set of the TV show "Gossip Girl".
But unless this is part of the script (and I don't think it is), this
"Hug" is considerably non-affectionate and is a strong signal of an
impending break-up of this actor couple. Let's start at the ground and
work up. Notice their feet are not even close to pointing at each other.
This is a very strong indicator of non-affection, especially during a
hug. We point our feet towards those we love, like, are attracted to, or
have affection for (even if not in an embrace) - or those we believe
are important and deserve our respect. In the context of a married or
dating couple, this is a flashing neon sign of non-affection and
impending break-up. You heard it here first.
The couple's hips are far apart
and also not pointed at each other (angled apart) - Blake's even more
significantly. This is how you hug your cousin or your co-worker (see post on Cameron Diaz's and Tom Cruise's hug),
not your significant other. Another detail here, is that Ms. Lively is
bending more at the waist, while Mr. Badgley's waist is not bent at all.
This particular waist finding is our emotional brain's attempt at
keeping our hips further apart and our hugs less intimate, less
affectionate and less committed. Blake is just not into it. To all men
who get a hug like this on a "first date" - you won't get a second one.
Ms. Lively has a purse in her
right arm, and she is hugging with only one arm. Blake's emotional brain
is using her forearm to act as a barrier against affection. The purse
is an additional barrier. These are two strong additional warning
signs. Penn is hugging primarily with his left arm - his right arm is
only slightly engaged.
Finally, look at their eyes,
while Mr. Badgley's eyes remain closed, Ms. Lively's eyes open first
(see photo below). We tend to close our eyes and keep them closed longer
when the affection, the commitment and the love is deeper. Our
emotional brain is focusing on the affection of the moment and trying to
drink it all in. If one person never closes their eyes, or opens them
quickly - there is less emotional commitment.
Using actors as examples to
teach and coach body language is particularly illustrative, because it
demonstrates so poignantly that although they are professionals and get
paid millions to suspend our disbelief, faking emotion is extremely
difficult to do. Truth always leaks, and often gushes out. It surprises
me that more actors don't get body language coaching. It not only will
help them become better actors, but as it does for everyone else - it
gives profound understanding of all human emotion.
See also:
Secret # 702: Mouth of Fear, Trying to Smile and Forehead of Pain
Secret # 133: Surprise or Smile or Neither?
Nonverbal Communication Secret # 2091: Sincere Smiling (a la' Blake Lively) and Laughing Reduces Anxiety and Heart Rate, Boosts Immune System and Relieves Pain
Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2203: A Body Language Metric of Intimacy and Affection - How Do YOU cuddle?
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