Showing posts with label Looking Indirectly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Looking Indirectly. Show all posts

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1139:
How Not to Build Rapport






















Rick Santorum is incredulous. Anytime you see a unilateral smile - it's always suspect. An insincere "smile" is asymmetrical. Contempt also has this characteristic. Most otherwise socially adept, educated and experienced people mistake contempt for a coy smile. Not so. Moreover he's not looking at the person who's speaking. We don't look directly at those we don't trust/believe, don't respect or don't like. 

What would think if your spouse, business partner, client or child was wearing such a face? I highly doubt Mr. Santorum is making this expression in a premeditated-deliberate fashion. If he were an accomplished actor, I'd still doubt it. Like most of us, he's much less self-aware than he believes. On the very small chance this Body Language is rehearsed and/or deliberate and on cue, I'd advise him to stop immediately.

If you're trying to garner votes, one must look engaged - even if you disagree with what is being said. If you want to take the Michigan Primary (and the Republican Nomination) from Mitt Romney, dial-up your "warm and fuzzy" a bit Rick. The former U.S. Senator of Pennsylvania should be leaning forward in his chair - not backwards - certainly not with his arms crossed. This body language cluster transmits feelings of disengagement, defensiveness, closed mindedness, incredulity and contempt. Rapport will not be developed or fostered this way, yet politicians continue to ask for your votes displaying such nonverbals and salespeople continuously try and close the deal when prospective clients are configured this way - at all the wrong times.

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Friday, February 3, 2012

Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1055:
The Subtle Lip Purse






















This Image of Tom Brady taken during the media availability-press conference in preparation for Super Bowl XLVI yesterday, shows two subtle emotional displays.

Anyone can spot dramatic emotion. I am continually dumbfounded by the percentage of otherwise socially adept, worldly and educated adults who cannot accurately identify moderate, let alone subtle emotional body language cues. The New England quarterback is displaying a very subtle lip purse here (see: Negotiation Secret # 9: Nancy's Lip Purse, for a more obvious example). When the lips are pursed, there is a disagreement taking place. But in a high percentage of the time, the disagreement will not be verbally expressed. In addition, those who display this expression are in a "position of power" wherein they feel they can implement their plan/idea. Thus when you see this nonverbal signal, be prepared for a proverbial "end-run". There is a reason that their opinion is not being openly expressed. Ambush. Hmmm..... perhaps there are some business applications here.

Emotions rarely occur in isolation, and here the Patriots' QB is no exception. Mr. Gisele Bundchen's second emotion is disgust. The specific facial signals to look for here are both the mild tightening of the "mustache area" and particularly his subtle nostril flare. Additionally, he is not looking directly at the person(s) who is (are) the object of his feelings. We don't look directly at those who we don't like, don't respect or don't believe


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Monday, January 2, 2012

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 336:
Mitt Romney's Three Emotional Tells

























Mitt Romney is experiencing at least three emotions here. The former Massachusetts Governor was campaigning in Council Bluffs on New Year's Day. He is currently polling first in the race for the Iowa Caucuses. In the everyday world, emotions are rarely isolated - rather they are superimposed and/or followed closely by others. Separating them accurately is not always easy. Romney body language shows us an Inward Lip Roll (ILR) indicating anxiety, correlated additionally with attempting to control the overt outward display of a negative emotion. This ILR is "blended" with the additional signal of Lip Thinning. Lip thinning is a clear indication of anger. Thus, anger is the negative emotion which Mitt is trying to contain.

The Governor's unilateral eyebrow and forehead elevation are nonverbal beacons of skepticism. Romney's head is not turned fully and his torso is not rotated at all toward the person/subject of his doubt. We do not look directly at people whom we don't like, don't respect and/or don't trust. Romney is exampling this nonverbal cluster of incredulity very well here.

See also: Secret # 531: Sarkozy's Mouth Tells Us What He's Feeling

See also: Secret # 1213: The Chronically Contracted Forehead

See also: Secret # 67: The Incredulous Cluster

See also: Secret # 771: Ann and Mitt's Affectionate Hug

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