Negotiation Body Language Secret # 345: Dialing Up Her Alpha

This is an image of Ms. Sharon Bialek immediately after her press conference two days ago when she accused Republican Presidential Nominee Hopeful, Herman Cain of unwanted sexual advances - which she alleges occurred in 1997. This particular hair-adjust-behind-the-ear gesture (HABE) is extremely common. It belongs to a set of behaviors known in the Body Language world as a Manipulators, Adaptors or Pacifiers (MAPs). These terms are synonyms and in general, are types of self-touching. They are indicative of increased anxiety at the particular moment of and immediately preceding their display. The hair-adjust-behind-the-ear is seen almost exclusively with women and gay men although straight men will occasionally exhibit it. Specifically, when you see the HABE maneuver, the subconscious is calling on the psyche to "dial-up" the Alpha personality qualities (e.g. Less Beta and more Alpha). The emotional mind is trying to be more assertive. This is a fantastic and very consistent signal telling you the person perceives themselves at a disadvantage, less confident, and out of their element. While MAPs do not indicate deception, their frequency increases at times of deception - especially hand-to-face MAPs. Never self-touch, particularly your face when speaking. Interestingly, audience members will perceive speakers as less credible when they commit MAPs. The HABE has several more stereotypical male analogs. Would you recognize any of these masculine displays?

___________________________________________________________________________________

Body Language Secret # 731: Sharon Bialek Isn't Telling the Whole Truth

While in no way I want to minimize the idea or the act of sexual assault or harassment, and while I cannot at this time comment on Herman Cain's other three alleged accusers, I feel strongly that Ms. Sharon Bialek, at the least is not telling the whole truth and may be fabricating most of the events she alleges took place in July of 1997. For me this is not a republican or democrat issue, this is a truth/deception issue. My inquiry is based on Ms. Bialek's (and Allred's) nonverbal communication as well as on statement analysis. Sexual assault and unwanted sexual advances are very serious matters and should not be taken lightly.

The overall emotional tone of Ms. Bialek is completely inconsistent with someone who has been mistreated sexually. Ms. Gloria Allred's inappropriate attempt at humor at the 3:49 mark in the first video, when she says, "...his idea of a stimulus package...." (note Ms. Allred is speaking out the side of her mouth, highly consistent with insincerity), is met with Ms. Bialek's partially unsuccessful  suppression of a smile. Ladies, if you were truly sexually assaulted/or experienced aggressive uninvited advances, you would not want to be fodder for such a public joke; and you would not laugh, smirk or smile at the moment of such a joke. In her jesting, Ms. Allred trivializes sexual crimes and Ms. Bialek betrays her true thoughts and emotions.

At the 4:00 mark in the above video when Ms. Allred says "...written statements under oath from the doctor...." (Bialek's then boyfriend) and again (but less so) at the 4:23 mark when Allred says, "....and engaged in sexually inappropriate behavior with her..." - Ms. Bialek takes a significantly deep breaths. While these do not prove deception, their timing indicates marked anxiety and are suspicious in this context.

At several times, Ms. Bialek indicates she is visualizing and mentally constructing future events when at the 4:37 mark Allred says, "...she will explain..." and at 4:52 when she states "...she will face public scrutiny...". At both of these times, Bialek looks up to her right. With these two examples, we have normed her (established some baseline, nondeceptive behavior). Ms. Bialek looks up to her right when visually constructing something that has not yet happened which is extremely common for right handed people (something that she is visualizing to happen in the future or something that she is having to falsely visually construct). This is significant because at several times (e.g. at 4:33) when Allred said "....when she told the business man that Mr. Cain had been aggressive with her...." - she again looks up to the right. If she had been recalling visual events from her past, she would have looked up to her left instead. Ms. Bialek has been "normed" and been found wanting.

Ms. Bialek state of high animation and excitement for the press conference is not consistent with the actions of which she accuses Mr. Cain. If she truly experienced the events she alleges, she should have done a lot less reading and more speaking from her memory. While this is indeed a less controlled environment for a rookie at a press conference, Ms. Allred should (and does) know that reading from a script is a considerably less believable.

Sharon Bialek was overly theatrical when she said three particular statements:

     "When are you running for President?"

     "Herman seems to think highly of you!" (with a microexpression of contempt displayed) and

     "Why... are... you ... here?"

This level of drama is not consistent with someone who is the victim of unwanted sexual advances. It is consistent with a novice's attempt at acting and/or narcissistic behavior. The microexpression of contempt is also an interesting display. It is not clear whether she has contempt for Herman Cain, herself, or her old boyfriend.

Ms. Bialek's dramatic and repeated over use of her forehead (contraction thus wrinkling of her forehead muscles) and repeated eye brow elevation is an attempt to add emphasis. If the events were in fact true, no emphasis would be needed. More importantly, a person telling such a story would feel the facts speak for themselves. Ms. Bialek's subconscious doesn't allow her to feel this way - so up goes her forehead & eyebrows. This is analogous to a forth grader writing a English homework assignment with exclamation marks at the end of every sentence.

When Allred states, "...under the penalty of perjury...." at and around the 6:15 mark in the first video, Ms. Bialek's eyes open wider than normal. This "white and wide" appearance is consistent with fear.

Sharon Bialek also performed a Body Language signal, that while it does not prove lying, it is highly consistent with deception, especially in this context (which occurs at the very end of the first video). She itches her nose during the following sentence: "I thought that we were going to go into the offices (itch) so that he could show me around." There is a high probability that a significant fact/set of facts is being left out of this portion of Ms. Bialek's story.

When Ms. Bialek described the moment of the alleged sexual advance (second video BELOW), she makes a  swallow (consistent with anxiety-deception) at 0:13, takes a deep breath (anxiety...at 0:17 mark) - alleged under the skirt advance and when she said "...reached for my genitals..." (at 0:18) there was an inward lip roll. An inward lip roll is consistent with anxiety and often seen when there is a negative emotion when the person is calling on increased emotional control.

It is also very striking to hear Ms. Bialek reading (not recalling) what she allegedly said to Mr. Cain at the time of the alleged groping, "What are you doing?"... "...you know I have a boyfriend...". Again, she is not remembering - Bialek is reading this ... in a robotic, unnatural voice for someone who is claiming to have had the experience. In addition, the statement about a boyfriend is an odd thing to say. What about, "Stop!", "Hey!", "Help!", a scream,  etc?

It is extremely suspicious that Ms. Bialek told two men that Mr. Cain had been, "...sexually inappropriate with me..." and yet she stated outright that "....I didn't tell them details....". In particular, when one of these men was her boyfriend at the time, why leave out the details? I also find it odd that Ms. Bialek didn't tell any women friends, just two male friends. This is also highly atypical. It is much more common to tell women friends such incidents and not tell men.

At the end of her statement, when Ms. Bialek is recalling a recent time when she saw Herman Cain, she tends to look up much more. This is consistent with true recall of an event, rather than the near constant looking down and reading which she did for most of her statement. Indeed, when she has the most consistent eye contact with the audience is when she adds a political twist at the very end. Her true passion has betrayed her. 

After Bialek's statement, and Allred begins to speak again, Sharon Bialek laughs, gives a big smile and says, "....I just had a .... (inaudible).This is a very inappropriate time to laugh and in this context is consistent with narcissistic behavior (see: Negotiation and Dating Secret # 111: The Great Phone Tell, for another Nonverbal signal which can be a sign of narcissism).

Ms. Bialek's sincerity quotient is very low. She very much enjoys the limelight and has looked for and found her 15 minutes of fame and apparently has found it.

Once again, Sexual assault, unwanted sexual advances and sexual harassment are serious matters. I do not wish to minimize or trivialize these crimes. False accusations are also serious matters. I cannot comment on Mr. Cain's other accusers, but there is a very high probability that Ms. Bialek's statement has a significant component of deception.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation and Leadership Body Language Secret # 339: The Height Advantage

Here is French President, Nicholas Sarkozy is exiting the stage after speaking along with U.S. President Barack Obama at the Recent G20-G8 Summit in Cannes, France. Depending on your source, Sarkozy is either 5'5" (1.651 M) or 5'6.25" (1.683 M), while his model-actress wife Carla Bruni Sarkozy is 5'9" (1.753 M). It is no secret that President Sarkozy commonly wears specially made shoes with and extra 1-2 inch (2.54-5.08 cm) lift - which can be easily seen in both images. A lot of men in his shoes would do the same - pun definitely intended.

While there are certainly exceptions, there is a strong statistical correlation between height and - hiring, income, promotions at work, electability, and even longevity. Nonverbal research even shows we interrupt those less who are taller (Pease). In the U.S., the correlation between height and electability increases with the level of public office - (as it also does with LACK of facial hair). While you can't obviously change your height, there are certainly Body Language maneuvers, debate and interview techniques, rapport builders, ways to avoid intimidation and project confidence (while not over-doing it) etc. - other than wearing heels - all of which you should be acutely aware of if you want to even the odds.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 481: Interlaced fingers, Brief Thumbs and Hand Elevation

Vladimir Putin, Prime Minister of Russia, is giving us a great negotiation tell here. When people have their hands clasped in front of them during a meeting, discussion or negotiation it generally is an indication of some level of blocking and a closed-off mindset. They may also be attempting to appear reserved and relaxed. This is not a natural position of relaxation though.

Notice Mr. Putin's hands are lifted off the table. At this same time his thumbs are elevated. This is the equivalent of a shrug. We cannot see the dynamics of this particular moment since this is a still image and not a video, but very often a shrug will come in this abbreviated disguise - and the words may very well not be congruent with the emotional tone of a shrug. In these cases, the hands and the thumbs are only briefly elevated, for a second or two and the shoulders may never elevate. Thus, this gesture can be thought of as partial emblematic slip (Ekman) when it is in disparity with what is said verbally. Notice also that Mr. Putin is speaking out the side of his mouth. Although this is baseline behavior for a very small minority of people - it is a strong signal of insincere behavior or dishonesty.

In linguistics, a homonym is a word/set of words which although spelled and pronounced the same, has different meanings. I can say, "That lady is hot", or "It's rather hot outside" or "Wow, this pepper is hot!" The science of Body Language also has Nonverbal Homonyms. The thumbs up gesture, in what at first glance, may appear to be identical to the scenario in the above photo - can mean something completely different depending on what other body language signals and particulars with which it is clustered. Ignore this distinction at your peril.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 371: Looking Down Your Nose

The old saying, "Don't look down your nose....", like many Body Language related sounding phrases, has very accurate roots in the real world of human behavior and psychology. This is Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. At the moment of this image, she's exemplifying this pose beautifully. If she were sitting next to me as I write this, I have absolutely no doubt that it was not her intention to appear arrogant or condescending - but these are the messages she is sending. It is another signal for contempt - which very often is overlooked. It is often quite evanescent.

The head is characteristically tilted backwards with simultaneous jutting of the jaw. Although it's not present here, this head tilt, nose up, chin out pose is often accompanied by nostril flaring. Ms. Gillard also shows us the often coexisting lower lip extended in a pseudo-pout pose. 

We all occasionally adopt this body language facial expression, because at some moments we truly feel superior. And while the majority of the time, arrogance may not be indicative of someone's over-all personality, for an instant or two these signals will betray their emotional tone. Very often their words will not match this tell. So be wary when you see it, because the nonverbal signals are always correct.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 343: Nicolas Sarkozy's Clandestine Thumbs Up - an Emblematic Slip

This is a great display of an example of what is known as an "Emblematic Slip" (Ekman).  An "Emblem" is a body language signal, who's meaning is universally or regionally recognized. A "Slip" and display of such an emblem is when it is manifested without deliberate intent (unconsciously). Here French President, Nicolas Sarkozy is not facing the audience and is walking away after a speech at the 2011 G20-G8 Summit - as opposed to the usual and very deliberate thumbs up which virtually all politicians (very consciously) "perform" for the audience and facing the cameras. The thumb pointed up is a (nearly) universal sign of optimism. It's presence in this moment betrays Sarkozy's feelings of cheer and confidence. Perhaps he is displaying this because he felt he performed well in his just-delivered speech or maybe it was because of the announcement today that Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou has appeared to back away from his proposal to hold referendum in December as to whether or not the European Union should bailout Greece. 

When the "Thumbs Up" emblem is thrust forward - in Greece this means "Up yours!".

A further variation on this theme is a what is known as a "Partial Emblematic Slip" (Ekman). This is when the emblem is displayed in a limited fashion (as well as unconsciously) - e.g. only a half-way "thumbs up"  and/or in an atypical position - e.g. if his hand were resting on a table or in his lap, etc.

Either a partial or a full emblematic slip is a very reliable tell. It's presence is particularly valuable when the meaning of the emblem contradicts what the person is saying. When the verbal and the nonverbal are in disparity - always believe the nonverbal.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 271: Disgust with very little Mouth Component

It is useful to teach body language, as with any subject, one subtopic at a time, but nonverbal signals in the real world rarely occur in isolation, but in clusters - simultaneously or very close in time, with verbals and many other distractions thrown in. Here, Bruce Willis' contempt is difficult for some to see, primarily because he is displaying very little mouth component - the right side is only slightly elevated. What's more visible though is his mid-face tightening, specifically his nostril dilation. His nares are dilated, but more so on his right. This is highly consistent with contempt (unilateral) - and disgust (bilateral). Another subtle and almost never looked for signal seen with both of these emotions is the tightening of the "mustache area" (MA) - Bruce's MA is fairly tense. The closing of his eyelids along with the lowering and coming together of his eyebrows are indicative of disgust and contempt too, but also anger. In this context, the eyelid and brow changes primarily represent anger - since so little lower facial component of disgust-contempt are present. Although this is close to Willis' "Tough Guy" cliche look - there is real emotion here.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 753: What Not to Wear When the Queen Visits

Next time you dance for the Queen, make sure you dress in etiquette. Here Queen Elizabeth II watches an Aboriginal Dance in Perth, Australia. Her facial expressions and other nonverbals display Disgust, Anger and Anger Control-Anxiety. Despite being royalty, she also is displaying low confidence and deferential Body Language where none is warranted. 

___________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 367: Insincere Smile - Van Rompuy needs some Acting Classes

Greek Prime Minister George Papadreou is arguably got one of the toughest jobs in the World right now. Everyone is watching to see what's next in the Greek Debt Crisis. Here Papadreou is seen shaking hands in a posed photo shoot with Herman Van Rompuy, the President of the European Council. If you search for images of Van Rompuy, in the majority of photos where he looks like he is trying to smile, he is only smiling out of the left side of his mouth. This is an incredibly common Body Language signal in general - and so very characteristic of Herman - it's almost as if he has a medical problem where he cannot smile with his right side - but this is not so. His attempt at smiling is insincere at best. The conscious brain is attempting to smile, but the unconscious brain doesn't feel joy, ergo it won't let a full smile appear. Interestingly, when there is an asymmetric smile - with most people, the majority of time - it is the left side of the mouth that "smiles" while the right side remains neutral or even frowns (Pease). There is also more than a bit of nonverbal contempt displayed by Van Rompuy here as well. He hasn't got an easy job either.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 341: Narcissism, Parking and Cell Phones

A few weeks ago, I was at one of my favorite restaurants. It was at the beginning of the evening rush and the parking lot was about three-quarters full. Someone had taken up two parking places. Such behavior is consistent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Before I walked in, I thought it may be a useful Body Language exercise to try and predict, to which customer this vehicle belonged. It took me less than 10 seconds to identify my number one suspect. His nonverbal signals were also narcissistic. One body language cue was the way he was speaking on and holding his cell phone. See Negotiation and Dating Secret # 111: The Great Phone Tell. Do you ever park like this? How do you hold your cell when speaking on it? This obviously is not the only nonverbal sign of Narcissism, but in this case it was 100% predictive. What are some other Body Language signals of NPD?

___________________________________________________________________________________