Negotiation Body Language Secret # 813: Ask Osama Bin Laden about Appeasement

When President Obama is asked by a reporter for his reaction to others' accusations that he practices a foreign policy of appeasement (a few seconds of this and other videos of this press conference have been edited out here), President Obama responds, "Ask Osama Bin Laden... and the ... twenty-two out thirty top Al-Qaeda leaders ... who've been taken off the field .... ah ... whether I engage in appeasement ....". Just as the video cuts back to the President, and just prior to his answer (at 0:12), you will see President Obama exhibit a dramatic "Inward Lip Roll" (ILR). This is a bit different than the ILR sited a few days ago with French President Sarkozy (See:Negotiation Body Language Secret # 531: Sarkozy's Mouth Tells Us What He's Feeling, picture number two), where Nicolas rolls his lips between his teeth - gently biting down on them. In the example above however, President Obama is unable to do this, because his teeth are clenched (his jaw is shut tight). This is a strong and classic signal of anger. The clenched jaw may not be obvious to all - but if you watch carefully, you'll notice the area adjacent to Obama's lips bunch up - especially below his lower lip. For a couple seconds, they have nowhere else to go and the coexisting tension in the jaw muscles spills forward into a dramatic contraction of the area around the mouth and lips. 

The Inward Lip Roll tells us anxiety is present - however very often the particular anxiety of the ILR is an anger-related variety and commonly is also a signal of an effort to control and down-regulate a negative emotional display. While President Sarkozy's ILR (teeth open and lips bitten between them) has less of a component of anger, President Obama's ILR example here (teeth closed and lips bunched in front) is more consistent with a higher anger level. Although both men do an excellent job of controlling their negative emotions, we can better qualify the feelings of others' and also quantify their anger levels by contrasting these two valuable nonverbal tells.

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 717: Barry Bonds and the Obstruction of Justice

Federal prosecutors want Barry Bonds to go to Prison. They are seeking a sentence of 15 months for the former San Francisco Giants star. The charges stem from his obstruction of their investigation into BALCO, steroids, human growth hormone and other performance enhancing substances and their illegal sale and distribution to professional athletes.

The most common reason for a nose "itch" is not a rash, a nasal hair or allergic rhinitis - it's anxiety. This is also true for similar sensations elsewhere on the face and neck. There are many reasons for anxiety however, and deception is but one - but it's a very common one. Depending on the particular area touched/rubbed/itched/etc., the other nonverbals it is clustered with, the paralanguage and the statement analysis/language analysis - if you know what to look for, your ability to detect lies is very significantly enhanced.  

Everyone tells "white lies". The next time you tell one, or even think about telling one - if you're self-aware (everyone thinks they are - but this is true for very few) - you'll notice that somewhere on your face or neck will probably itch. You may be like Barry Bonds or Megan Fox (See Lie Detection Secret # 652: Megan Fox has got an Itch) and scratch your nose, you may be like Jon Corzine (See Negotiation Body Language Secret # 339: When a Lie is Heard or Told) and scratch next to your ear. It can even work in reverse, for if you hear or see something you believe to be deception, as Angela Merkel does here (see Negotiation Secret # 29: Eye Rub when some else is speaking - Angela doubts Vladimir) - you'll have similar sensations and may rub your eye like the German Chancellor.

Remember, there is no one body language signal for detecting a lie. Many things must be taken into account (see above) - including the honest person who experiences anxiety associated with being falsely accused. Paul Ekman calls this the "Othello error" after the character in the Shakespeare play of the same name, who falsely reads his wife's (Desdemona) signs of anxiety as that of guilt.

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 531: Sarkozy's Mouth Tells Us What He's Feeling

The following photos of French President Nicolas Sarkozy are relatively similar with respect to his mouth appearance - to the unobservant. But it is very important not to "lump" nonverbals together. I want to take this opportunity "thin slice" and contrast these expressions and their underlying emotions.

In this first image of Sarkozy we see deliberate and theatrical doubt displayed. When this extreme mouth configuration is shown, especially with the unilateral eyebrow and forehead contracture (as Sarkozy is doing on HIS right) there conscious and deliberate doubt present. Politicians often use this extreme lower lip "pout" and the "skeptical eyebrow" to telegraph their (often feigned) disbelief. It's melodramatic - but it's the nature of the political beast.

In this second photo of President Sarkozy, we see an "Inward Lip Roll" - in which the lips are being "gently bitten" (compressed) by the teeth. This is highly consistent with significant anxiety. Depending on the other nonverbals it is clustered with, the ILR can also be a signal of attempting to control and/or suppress other negative emotions - such as anger, fear, etc. 

In this third image of the French President, he shows us what some refer to as the "Miserable Smile" (Ekman).  Incredibly, even though this is an "upside down smile" - in the moment this body language is displayed, the person will believe they're making a slight smile. This is a fantastic example of just how unaware we all are of our emotional displays - particularly in the midst of negative emotions. In this variation of the inward lip roll, the lips stay in front of the teeth (rather than "gently bitten" by them as shown in the second image). His gaze is up and to his left, indicating he is probably visually recalling an event. This Body Language cluster strongly indicates Nicholas is experiencing the emotion of regret.

In this forth photo, we see a mouth expression consistent more with anger. The lips are visible (unlike the the second and third examples) but are stretched very thin in a classic (but misinterpreted by most) anger expression. The partially closed eyelids in this cluster-context are highly consistent with contempt-arrogance. President Sarkozy is experiencing anger-contempt in this moment.

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 351: Never let 'em See You Sweat

The old adage, "Never let 'em see you sweat" is great advice and should be taken to heart by all - particularly leaders. You don't have to be an expert in nonverbal communication to know what Herman Cain is wiping from his brow. What's not so obvious though, is the position and corresponding meaning of Mr. Cain's lips. Here the potential U.S. Republican Presidential candidate shows us a great "Inward Lip Roll" (ILR). The ILR is a very common and reliable body language sign for anxiety. It very often also signals a concerted effort to control a negative emotional crescendo and corresponding display.

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Negotiation Body Languge Secret # 361: Conrad Murray's Fingers and Nostrils

Doctor Conrad Murray is pictured here at his hearing from earlier today. He received a sentenced of four years for involuntary manslaughter in the death of Michael Jackson. This image was captured just prior to his sentencing. His interlaced and straightened fingers are strong indicators of anxiety - and more specifically that of frustration and insecurity. Of course, we know the context here - and the idea that Dr. Murray is feeling this way is not a surprise. While his face does not show dramatic signals of anxiety, if you look close you can see nostril flaring. What does this nonverbal indicate? What about the angle of his head/neck tilt? In your everyday life, how often do you miss these subtle but important nonverbal signals?

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 387: Extended and Interwoven Fingers

This is United States Senator and former Presidential Candidate, John Kerry, D-MA. He is pictured here during a recent meeting of the "Super Committee" (The United States Congress Joint Selection Committee on Deficit Reduction). He is one of its twelve members.

The tension in his mid-face, the thinning of the lips, the clenching of Kerry's jaw and the lowering of his eye brows are all consistent with anger.  I want to draw your attention to his hands however. Notice his fingers are intertwined and extended. This is a great nonverbal tell of stress. When the fingers are extended and interwoven in this fashion - there is a significant component of anxiety present (Navarro). In an interview or meeting setting, it is very likely that the question which was just asked or the issue which was just raised - evoked this anxiety. You would be well advised to slow down the conversation, dig deeper and use the Socratic method to get to the root of this great body language tell.

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 753: What Not to Wear When the Queen Visits

Next time you dance for the Queen, make sure you dress in etiquette. Here Queen Elizabeth II watches an Aboriginal Dance in Perth, Australia. Her facial expressions and other nonverbals display Disgust, Anger and Anger Control-Anxiety. Despite being royalty, she also is displaying low confidence and deferential Body Language where none is warranted. 

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Negotiation Secret # 705: Two Signals No Candidate Wants to Project

Herman Cain is projecting two Body Language signals no candidate should ever exhibit in this photo. His hands are oriented in what is know as a "Steeple". If displayed for short time periods, in the proper contexts, this can project confidence. However, in most settings, particularly when used for all but brief displays, it is often perceived as arrogance and projects (no doubt unbeknown to Mr. Cain) condescending attitudes. The higher the steeple, the stronger this emotional signal is transmitted and received. 

Herman also is displaying an "Inward Lip-Roll" (ILR). Positioning your lips in this fashion is a nonverbal indication of anger-related-anxiety and when it is displayed the person is calling upon inward reserves - for patience. When you see the ILR, patience is wearing thin - tread softly. 

The Republican Presidential hopeful was recently questioned about old accusations of inappropriate behavior towards two female employees of the National Restaurant Association while he led that organization in the early 1990's. Prior to this event being brought to light by Politico, the public had not been aware of these accusations.

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