Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2389: Tom Cruise, Gerard Butler & Olga Kurylenko on The Graham Norton Show Alpha Body Language Behavior - on The Phone and on the Couch(Video) (Pictures)

Tom Cruise was recently on the Graham Norton along with the Olga Kurylenko to promote his recent movie, "Oblivion". Gerard Butler was pitching his as well - "Olympus has Fallen". As are most talk shows, this was full of great examples of nonverbal behavior. Some of these are described below.

When speaking on a mobile phone, the further the elbow goes out - the higher our internal alpha emotional tone. For the vast majority of time (>99%) the vast majority of people will speak with their elbows close to the side of their torso (see below). Whenever our subconscious feels the need to "dial up our alpha" or we're feeling a need to increase our dominance, the elbow elevates out to the side further. Say you heard you just got a raise, just got a date with Olga Kurylenko or if you have to reprimand a subordinate - your elbow will often elevate out to the side. Here Tom Cruise is speaking to audience member's family on the Graham Norton - and very much in the spotlight - so he is feeling the need to elevate his alpha and his arm & elbow follows. This nonverbal is much more common in men and is indeed relatively rare in women. In this example Cruise's arm is at about a 45 or 50 degree angle to the side of his body. When displayed at "full sail" the arm is elevated higher and parallel with the floor (thus 90 degrees to the side of the torso) or sometimes even higher. An interesting detail that goes along with this - is the position of the index finger (forefinger). The index finger is held alone on the back of the phone with the thumb and the remaining fingers on the sides of the phone (see below).

If a person speaks constantly (or nearly so) with their elbow out and arm raised (especially in public and in relatively crowded areas), this is a sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (although certainly not the only one). Again, we ALL display this nonverbal once in a while.

Here Gerard Butler's arm is only slightly elevated. This configuration (or even with less arm elevation) is much more typical. Note the position of Gerard's fingers too - they're all on the same side of the phone with his thumb on the opposite side - unlike Mr. Cruise's alpha forefinger position. Therefor both his elbow and his fingers signify significantly less alpha (less ego) and more beta behavior present in this moment. This is similar to the way most of us hold our phones the vast majority of the time.

In this image Tom Cruise's legs are widely splayed in a configuration known as the "Seated Crotch Display". This is another alpha nonverbal and although it is also much more common in men, occasionally women will use this body language as well. In some settings and depending on the other nonverbals with which it is clustered, the seated crotch display signals sexual attraction. Men will sit in such a manner around women all too often and particularly in a business setting it routinely offends female clients/colleagues. Also on the first date it will come off as overbearing - and most women will read it like a neon sign.

See also:

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 1916:  Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise are getting a Divorce -  What Body Language Metric could have Predicted this  Back When They Were Dating?

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 113:  What Blagojevich can Teach Us

Negotiation and Dating Secret # 111:  The Great Phone Tell

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2360:  Bill Clinton and the Body Language of a  "Loose Hand, Palm Up Point"

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2336:  Jodi Arias "Secret Video" Jury Will Not See -  Extremely Out of Context Body Language

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2374:  Tom Cruise on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and Body Language of Emotional Dissonance

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 1921:  Who was More Dominant -  Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes?

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Body Language Analysis No. 2327: What is meant by "Eye Contact"? A Nonverbal Fundamental

"What does eye contact really mean?" is a question many will ask, yet too few address this crucial body language nuance. Some people stare into one eye or switch back and forth between eyes. Such staring often will alienate or scare people. If someone stares into your eyes - this usually indicates sexual attraction, predatory behavior, anger or deception. Of course to further nuance this nonverbal, you must read the other nonverbals with which this hyper-eye contact is clustered.

Take note though - for eye contact in the context of lying may also dramatically decrease. Other emotions can be signaled by lack of eye contact as well - such as disrespect, an attempt to avoid a further crescendo of anger, or shame.

During normal conversation between two people (when either anger, predation, sexual attraction or lying are NOT present) - "eye contact" should thought of as looking in a random pattern (known as saccades) within an ellipse surrounding both eyes for 40% to 70% of the time. The above image of Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace, Oblivion) illustrates the magic area. This is certainly NOT meant to imply that you should be looking within this region EXCEPT directly in their eyes. There are absolutely moments when you should be looking directly at one of the other person's - BUT DO NOT STARE. No one place should be fixated on for more than a second or two. Particular care should also be taken to not stare at the forehead (which will repulse) or the mouth (which will send sexual signals).

When engaged in healthy conversations such eye contact should come natural for most people. You shouldn't have to think about it. If you find yourself thinking about if your eye contact is too much or too little - then there's a reason for it - and this should draw your awareness as to why. Addressing the why your eye contact is "off" - should lead to the eye contact "righting itself". Or in medical parlance - treat the cause, not the symptom.

There is a natural movement of the eyes which occurs when people are speaking or thinking. While these movements are not the same for everyone - and are not 100% reliable - once you "norm" a person, often a lot of information can be gleaned from such momentary gaze patterns. Again, these must be viewed within the cluster of other nonverbals, verbal and paralanguage signals for accurate interpretation. 

Healthy and contextual eye contact is some of the best body language you can engage in if you want to build and maintain rapport. Many educated and otherwise successful people lose opportunities every day for want of proper eye contact. 

How is your eye contact? Are you sure?

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Jack@BodyLanguageSuccess.com

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See also:

Negotiation Body Language Secret No. 353: Brad Pitt's Smiling Eyes - Sincere and Insincere Smiles

Negotiation Body Language Secret No. 712: We are Born with the Desire for Eye Contact 

Nonverbal Communication Analysis No. 1808: Time Magazine's  Breast Feeding, Dr. William Sears, and Attachment Parenting Controversy - Shows Emotional Dissonance at Best

Dating & Romance Nonverbal Communication Secret No. 1010:  Rashida Jones - What Makes the Twinkle in Her Eye?

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