Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1488: Chief Justice John Roberts' Bitter-Regret Smile

Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, John Roberts, examples here an extremely common body language tell - and a very valuable one in the negotiation process (particularly for a Judge, he has a horrible poker face). Whatever verbal message that is conveyed when/just before/after a person displays such a "Bitter Smile" (Ekman) - it is an absolute that their true emotions are being held back - very often in flavor, and always in amplitude. 

Whenever the verbal and nonverbal messages are in disparity, the nonverbal is representative of what is truly being felt and thought. This particular bitter-regret "smile" guarantees some disparity. 

Believe it or not, we all make this bitter smile much more often than we think. The vast majority of the times, people think they are making a slight, polite smile (a "social smile") - when in actuality our mouths are concave down! (and our eyes are very far from "smiling eyes" - see Secret # 353: Brad Pitt's Smiling Eyes - Sincere and Insincere Smiles). This is yet another profound example of just how much our "emotional-proprioception" is desensitized during moments of negative emotions. In other words, virtually everyone is extremely unaware of just how much anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, vulnerability, etc. are displayed on their faces and bodies. This is very true aspect of human behavior, regardless of whether it's in retrospection or in  real-time.
 

Chief Justice Roberts is rumored to have a genius level I.Q. But remember, I.Q. is an abbreviation for "Intelligence Quotient" - intellectual intelligence, not emotional intelligence or emotional awareness. Ironic to some, those with a lot of formal education, on-average, have considerably less emotional awareness than those with only a high school education. We tend to ride more on our J.D., M.D., Ph.D, MBA, etc. and less on developing and maintaining our interpersonal skills. This is a pit-fall for which many (even most) attorneys, physicians, politicians and C-level executives suffer - they are largely in polite denial. Indeed, the average physician is superior at diagnosis, surgery and running a small business when they're 37, 47 or 57 - but their interpersonal skills very often were better when they were 27. The emperor is naked. 

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Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1496: Tiger Woods' Disgust & Biofeedback

Tiger Woods is perhaps back on track - and just in time for The Masters. After a dry spell of two and a half years - Tiger won his first PGA tournament late last month at The Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill. In this image of Tiger, we see a mild-to-moderate display of disgust. His mid-face tightening of the "mustache area" accompanied by flaring of the nostrils is highly indicative of the display of disgust. Less dramatic (and secondary) body language signals of this negative emotion are seen in the slight dimpling of Woods' chin, the moderate wrinkling between his eyebrows (as well as lowering of those brows) and the parentheses shaped furrows on each side of the golfer's lower nose & mustache area. Collectively, these configurations comprise a cluster of contempt.

Like most high achieving athletes, Woods holds himself to high standards - and is self-critical. Thus this body language/facial expression of disgust is a very common one for Tiger. I put forth the argument, that if Tiger Woods maintained a facial expression closer to being emotionally neutral at such crucial times, this would improve his performance. The same would hold true for any athlete, student, surgeon, sales person, attorney, etc. Greater emotional self-awareness is a natural by-product of nonverbal training & practice and is an extremely valuable, rarely considered and very under-utilized form of biofeedback.

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 331: Corzine's False and Bitter Smile

In this photo, President Obama was giving political support to Jon Corzine in his effort to get re-elected in 2010 as the Governor of New Jersey. Corzine eventually lost to Chris Christie. Contrasting these two men's faces: President Obama has a sincere smile - only his top teeth are visible and he's "smiling with his eyes" nicely. With respect to Barack's eyes, his lower lids bunch-up in a manner highly characteristic with a true, felt smile (Ekman) - whereas Jon Corzine's lids, although partially closed (which is absolutely required in a sincere smile), have a different look to them - there's no "puckering-up" of the lower lid present as is seen on the President's face [this characteristic pucker occurs via the contraction of the orbicularis oculi (pars orbitalis) muscles - which most of the time it is subconsciously stimulated]. Corzine's eyes are being closed with a different muscle however [the orbicularis oculi (pars palpebralis) - when this is used in an attempt to smile - it is consciously controlled] - so they look quite different - and ergo Corzine's smile isn't sincere. In fact, Jon Corzine's "false smile" in this photo indicates bitterness and regret.

Moreover look at Corzine's mouth. The contour of his lips are concave-down, rather than concave up as they should be with any true smile. Of course we all know this without being taught in the first days of our lives - even those who are born blind! Incredible as it seems, virtually everyone who makes a facial expression as Corzine is doing in this image (which occurs very often), believes in the moment, that they are making a slight-to-modest smile. This particular facial expression is one of the most common and demonstrative examples I know of showing the lack of emotional proprioceptive awareness from which most people suffer. It's a very profound disconnect. Most of us aren't really very aware of what our faces and bodies are doing in space and time. This emotional awareness disparity is even wider when the emotions present are negative ones - like anxiety, anger or fear. 

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Body Language Secret # 309: Road Rage and Self-Awareness

When we drive our vehicles become extensions of our bodies. We become very territorial and protective in a manner that later surprises us. Rarely are we aware or even remotely objective of these emotion when they are happening. The next time another driver cuts you off, resist the temptation to look over as you pass him/her. In times past when you have done so, even for a split-second, this simple physical act dialed-up your blood pressure, your pulse, your adrenaline and your tendency to rationalize. Not doing so adjusts all these important emotional modifiers in a healthy and opposite direction. Being fully mindful of these physiologic propensities we all have, will allow us to control them in real-time, or even as these negative emotions are in crescendo. A tremendous, but rarely mentioned benefit of body language is this heightened emotional awareness and thus less anger and its many negative consequences.

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