Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1141: Elbows in Syria

Bashar al-Assad is pictured here with his country's flag in the background. The Syrian "Leader" is displaying an highly unusual body language for a head-of-state.  Notice his arm configuration. When elbows are held in so closely to the sides of the chest - it's very characteristic of a low-confidence emotional tone. Alpha's don't hold their arms this way. Those who used to be Alpha's, and those with Beta personalities -  well that's a different story. The Syrian President's confidence is crumbling.

And the walls came tumbling down....

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Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1059: Santorum's Dominant Spider

This Hand Gesture Rick Santorum is using, is known as "The Dominant Spider". It tends to be used by primarily by alpha males and somewhat less frequently by alpha females. Although not as dominant or negatively received as the closed-palm or nearly closed-palm down gesture (see Secret # 222: Palms Down vs. Palms Up), it should be used sparingly and for very brief moments in order to assert authority and dominance. If over-used (which doesn't take much and is a strong tendency for the alpha-personality types to do), the audience (even an audience of one) will feel domineered and patronized. 

Tonight the former U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania is certainly feeling very dominant - so spiders abound. As of this writing, he is projected to win both the Minnesota Caucuses and the Missouri Republican Presidential Primary. It's still too early to call Colorado's Caucuses, but Rick may have just pull off the hat trick. 

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Negotiation Body Language Secret # 113: What Blagojevich can Teach Us

When speaking on their mobile phones, those who hold their elbows pointing out laterally or forward-laterally have a strong tendency to be strong alpha personalities. The vast majority of people, hold our phones with the elbows pointed down, next to our sides'. The more often you see this displayed in any given individual, the more dominant the personality. If you see this the majority of the time - it's very possible the speaker has narcissistic personality disorder. It can be seen occasionally with beta-personality people when they are trying to "dial-up their alpha", e.g. when constructively (or otherwise) criticizing a subordinate or asking another out on a date, or when they get some good news, etc. Conversely, you may also see the elbow suddenly point down and retract close to the body when bad news is received.

The reliability of the elbow-out mobile phone (EOMP) body language gesture in indicating alpha and narcissistic personalities is enhanced not only increases with percent of the time it's used, but also with the height of the arm. Sometimes the forearm is held so high, that it is parallel with the ground (or nearly so). Additionally, if a person tends to use the EOMP even in crowded areas, it adds a lot of reliability as a predictor of the over-alpha/narcissistic personality.

This is such a rare nonverbal for females to use, I sometimes wonder if it's an indirect indicator of excessive testosterone. Ergo a bit of dating advice: Ladies - if you desire any semblance of equity in a relationship, run the other way when you see the elbow-out mobile phone nonverbal gesture used consistently. Run. Run fast.

Bye-bye Blagojevich.See you in 2025.

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Negotiation Secret # 555: How Facial Expressions Correlate with Palm Position

These two photos of Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi are fantastic examples of how the orientation of our palms are very strongly correlated with our facial expressions. Palms down, in general, should be avoided. Most of the time, the majority of audience members (even with an audience of one!) will feel patronized and that the speaker is arrogant. Alpha personalities who go too extreme will conspicuously over-use the palms down signal. Notice how Berlusconi's face matches this - he is displaying smug/contempt. If you're a teacher, professor or trainer - the learning/retention will also be significantly reduced (B. & A. Pease).

When palms are pointed up, the face again matches. There is a very strong tendency towards a more beta personality with a softer/reconciliation/asking/kinder face. The examples shown here are very demonstrative and typical of everyday people and situations. Watch carefully for these hand-face correlations in your personal life and at work. It will allow you to read between the lines and inside their minds with great accuracy and tremendous benefit.

Berlusconi faces ongoing charges of corruption, bribery and paying and underage girl (Karima El Mahroug) for sex (See Negotiating Secret #89: Opposite Facing Arms Akimbo).

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