Negotiation Secret # 357: Fear in his Eyes

This is a great photo because it calls our attention to this drivers eyes.  It is just before the start of the race and  he is experiencing a mild to moderate amount of fear.  His upper eyelids are wider open than in a normal, resting state and his lower eyelids are mildly tensed.  This is a common expression in the pre-race setting - even for experienced drivers with many victories.  It is easy to detect someone experiencing an extreme amount of fear - detecting moderate or mild fears is more difficult but much more useful in our everyday lives.

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Grief in Shanksville on 9/11

This is a very common gesture cluster consistent with sadness.  In this photo, Gerald Bingham, father of Mark Bingham, who perished on flight 93 on Sept. 11, 2001, shows a wrinkling of the muscles in the center of his forehead, while the outer (lateral) portions of his forehead is wrinkle-fee.  This is the take home point in this photo - for in this context, it is a very distinctive and universal expression of grief.

Additionally, Mr. Bingham's eyes are closed, his head (neck) is down-turned and his mouth is covered. These four signs, when exhibited together, are a common gesture cluster of Sadness.  This photograph was taken at a memorial service for the passengers and crew of flight 93, so we all know the context, and given this knowledge - it's easy to interpret.  In our day-to-day lives, this cluster - and thus the emotion, is often missed in an acquaintance, co-worker, friend or even family member.  When we lack context and insight into another's heart and mind, we need to be much more observant and reflective - and this is one of many situations where understanding nonverbal communication is wonderfully beneficial.

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Invading Personal Space

This is a great example of an invasion of personal space.  Here, Steve Spagnuolo, the head coach of the St. Louis Rams, gives a one armed hug to Navy officer Chris Scholl.  On the sporting field, men will often hug, slap, show affection and commaraderie for each other - that the same men wouldn't show off the field.  While it may be okay for a coach to hug "his men" on the sidelines of this televised game, this permission is not granted by everyone, certainly not by an officer in uniform. Coach Spagnuolo forgets this here.  

Navy officer Scholl shows several signs of his disapproval for this PDA.  He is leaning slightly away from coach Spagnuolo, and although his head is partially turned toward the coach, officer Scholl's body remains pointed straight ahead. This is always a very strong sign that the affection is not reciprocated. Chris Scholl's eyes are also slightly narrowed (a la' Clint Eastwood) and his mouth is closed in a slight frown. His arms remain locked at his side as well.

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Dialing up the Anxiety

Interlocked and extended fingers are a sign of increased anxiety.  If you see a person begin to do this, especially during conversation, an interview, etc., you should ask yourself what caused him to adopt this posture.  It is very likely a question that what was just asked which evokes anxiety. This is a great signal. You would be well advised to delve deeper and ask additional (open ended) questions which will get to the root of the problem.  

In this photo, Dusan Ivkovic, the coach of the Serbian national basketball team is seen answering questions at a press conference just prior to the 2010 FIBA World Basketball Championship.

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Negotiation secret # 301: Angela Merkel's Expressions of Fear

German Chancellor, Angela Merkel is showing a great example of a mild to moderate fear expression in this photograph.  The most obvious signs here are noted in her mouth, jaw and the neck.  Her lips are characteristically stretched backwards and down-turned at the corners.  With more extreme fear the lips are more widely parted (often baring the lower teeth) and stretched back even further, giving a more pronounced downward curve to both the upper and lower lips. The jaw (mandible) often pulls dramatically backwards, but here it is only modestly expressed.

Chancellor Merkel's eyes are opened to a degree - that is for her normal. This example demonstrates a  mild to moderate (and probably very brief - e.g. a "Microexpression" of fear) with essentially no involvement of the eyes. Sometimes, the eyes can be the primary display of fear though - even in subtle scenarios. In more dramatic examples of fear both the eyes and the mouth are involved. The eyes are in these cases are opened wider, often much wider, than normal. In such examples there is also a muscular-facial tension evident in the lower eyelids.  Her eyebrow's which are only mildly elevated and slightly drawn together here - would be even further elevated and together with more severe levels of fear.  

Pay close attention to Ms. Merkel's neck - all the muscles in the neck are tightened up.  This action, along with a pulling back of the head, neck and jaw -  can often create ridges of double and triple chins - which disappear when the jaw and neck are relaxed again.

I was not present at this conference, nor did I see video.  While this is an excellent and unmistakable example of subtle fear, I don't know how long this expression lasted.  This may have been a Macroexpression - lasting longer than 0.5 seconds, but it is an extremely common example of a microexpression. Microexpressions are unconscious actions and last as "long" as 0.5 seconds and are as fleeting as 0.04 seconds. Microexpressions occur with many emotions - not just fear. I see many examples, often hundreds or even thousands of these every day. A microexpression is a very reliable sign of an emotion and once you learn to recognize them, they will enable you read the hearts and minds of many a person.

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Negotiation Secret # 27: Lying Mt. Climber / Nose Rub

This is Austrian mountain climber Christian Stangl during a press conference in Vienna. He had claimed to have summited K2, the World's second tallest mountain, and also tried to prove it with a photograph.  He later retracted his claim.  When someone tells a lie, you should always see three or more signs in a short period of time which are consistent with lying or which contradict what they say verbally - before you conclude they are lying.  This photograph shows a nose rub, which is one of the more common and reliable signs of lying-associated-anxiety.

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Controlled Anger & Disdain for Question

Britain's Foreign Secretary William Hague is angered and repulsed by a question at a news conference recently in London. His head and neck are pulled away from the questioner and so are his shoulders somewhat. Also consistent with anger is his active squint.  To add to this list, his lips are considerably compressed, the corners of his mouth are slightly down-turned and his nostrils are slightly flared. 

I'm not sure if Mr. Hague wanted to appear angry, but I seriously doubt it.  It's the vary rare person who realizes his anger "in real-time" and it's exceedingly rare for a person to be aware of the crescendo of the pre-anger state.  Those who study and practice non-verbal communication, while certainly not perfect, improve in this area dramatically.

Romance & Dating Body Language Secret # 33: Classically Flirtatious

Here Maria Menounos displays a nearly classic over-the-shoulder flirtatious look.  She is looking over her raised right shoulder, with a modest social smile (Note she is not showing a complete, sincere smile - while this is ironic to some, which allows her eyes to be a bit more open and on display, is a nonverbal which is more flirtatious in this setting). Maria's head is mildly down-turned and her wide, doe-eyed gaze is looking at her man of interest.

Although the beautiful Ms. Menounos does quite well on autopilot, this flirtatious look would be even more evocative if her head would have been more down-turned, giving the appearance of looking up more. Some additional body language cues - such as if Maria would have been biting her lower lip slightly or perhaps coyly licking her lip - would have every man in sight believing she was "the one".

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Public Speaking Secret # 133: The Basketball Steeple

Rather than using the conventional steeple gesture, strongly consider using the "Basketball Steeple" instead - as demonsrated above by Ukranian President Viktor Yankovych. It gets its name because it looks like the speaker is holding an invisible basketball. A great example of an empowering "illustrator", it has the advantages of projecting authority and confidence, without appearing arrogant - as the Conventional Steeple does. President Barack Obama uses the Basketball Steeple to his advantage quite often

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Defense! Defense! Defense! .... and a False Smile...

Ms. Sofya Trotsenko, head of the Winzavod Center of Contemporary Art in Moscow, displays a tight-lipped false smile in this photograph.  It is commonly seen when people are trying to give a polite impression, but their real emotions are not just neutral or disinterested, but considerably negative.  People also display it when they are holding back a secret or have just spoken a partial truth.  Note how Sofya's mid-face is tightened and her "smile", although it looks slightly upturned because of her downward head tilt, is horizontal.  Her eyes are wide open which is never consistent with a true, felt smile.

Ms. Trotsenko's right hand is reaching across her front. It looks like she might be adjusting her hair or scratching - but this is a great example of a manipulator aka pacifier.  In this setting, it is an indicator of defensive-anxiety.

Her downward head tilt is also consistent with a defensive posture.  It can also be associated with anger, but because her forehead is relaxed and her eyebrows are not drawn together or downwardly displaced, we can be sure that here - Soyfa's head tilt is caused by a defensive emotional tone.

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