Leadership Secret # 17: The Only Time for the Politicians' Double Hander

Politicians are well known for their "Double-Hander" handshakes, in which they will sandwich your right hand with both of their's.  The Double-hander is universally received as negative - interpreted as "inappropriately friendly" at best - and patronizing and condescending by most - yet many people, especially politicians continue to use it.  However there is one occasion to use the double-hander - it's one of two ways to counter an overly-dominant handshake.

Here, United States President, Barack Obama was briefly in the dominant handshake position in two ways - a moment before this photo was taken.  First, he is on the left side of the photo. This is considered dominant because his hand will be closer to the crowd (and cameras), much more visible and thus perceived to be "on top" even if it's in the neutral/vertical position.  Additionally, Mr. Obama has maneuvered his hand to be even more dominant by rotating his arm inwards (clockwise from Obama's point-of-view) & thus his hand is on top of Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh's hand. This is easy for a taller man to do - for his height affords greater leverage.  Mr. Singh is left with two ways to counter this double-dominant handshake - he has chosen the simplest - by "sandwiching" Mr. Obama's right hand between both of his.

Like a game on the playground though, Mr. Obama further counters Mr. Singh's sandwiching using the last counter-move remaining - to put his left hand on Prime Minister Singh's upper back/right shoulder region - which he does here. Although it would have been a bit more dominant if Obama's hand was on the top/front of Singh's shoulder - so that the audience could visualize his fingers/hands (and Singh would feel more patronized) - Obama nuances the narrow grey zone of not being "overly-alpha" and thus builds rapport.

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Leadership Secret # 21: Dominance-Support

Here former President Bill Clinton accompanies Florida Democratic Gubernatorial Candidate, Alex Sink. Note his hand on her upper back (a variation of this is the hand-on-shoulder). This gesture is often seen in a similar context as it would be between a parent and child - going though doorways, at introductions, when some kind of support or leadership is expected, etc - but unlike the parent-child relationship, the underlying emotions which drive this behavior are often not motivated by support and nurturing, rather they are driven by ego. This is an extremely common gesture for Presidents and former Presidents (of both political parties), CEO's, senators, congressmen, etc. and really for those who are senior in any company or organization. It is always done by the higher ranking person to those more junior and never the other way around. 

Although those on the receiving end of this gesture almost never show it, this particular body language display of dominance-support can be interpreted as patronizing and condescending. It's as if the more senior person feels the physical need to remind the subordinate (or themselves') who's in charge. It can be thought of as variation on the manipulator-adaptor-pacifier (MAP) that is performed on another person, and while it may cause the receiver anxiety, it pacifies the giver. Everyone who has ever been on the receiving end of this gesture knows the awkwardness and uncomfortable feeling this gesture generates. For those of you in power, know that while you may not realize it, this only serves to alienate you from those in whom you are trying to engender trust and devotion.

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