Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2322: Jeb Bush & Matt Lauer - Which one is the Narcissist? Body Language Red Flags

This video segment of Matt Lauer interviewing Jeb Bush demonstrates some of the body language routinely exhibited by a narcissist. The morning show host crosses his right leg over his left knee - coming within a few centimeters of the former two-term governors right leg - well into his personal space. Lauer's left arm is over the left back of his chair throughout much of the interview while he points both the point of his pen and as well as left index finger (forefinger) at the possible 2016 Republican Presidential Candidate from Florida. Moreover he wags his finger as he points. This is offensive in virtually any setting and across all cultural boundaries. His voice is louder and his tones are more harsh than most people consider normal - even for media-interview context.

Here we see several nonverbal (and verbal) narcissist tendencies:

• Deliberate encroachment into another person's personal space while trying to look relaxed (Lauer's Leg)
• Taking up more space with arms
• Index finger pointing - particularly pointing with a wag or chopping motion, Pointing with sharp end of Pen
• Speaking louder for the social context
• Tone-of-voice harsh for social context
• Accusatory (e.g. Here Bush becomes a pseudo-target for events/things for which he was not responsible)
• Directing the conversation (This is of course normal for a talk show - although many would give an ex-governor, a brother & son of Presidents and possible future Presidential Candidate a bit more conversational latitude and courtesy. In most other scenarios, this conversational directing tendency, rather than true dialog - is a warning sign)
• False aka Pseudo-smiles 
• Excessive forehead muscle contraction (insincerity, narcissism or worse)

See also:

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 341: Narcissism, Parking and Mobile Phones

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 1912:  Ann Curry's Tearful Goodbye Matt Lauer's Insincerity

Negotiation and Dating Secret # 111: The Great Phone Tell

Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1503:  The Conventional Steeple vs. The Basketball Steeple - Seeking a Balance

Negotiation Body Language Secret # 359:  Last Stop for the Cain Train

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 1874:  Bad Handshake - Political Prevalence

Nonverbal Communication Analysis # 2242:  Rihanna & Chris Brown at Lakers Game  Body Language of Dominance, "Ownership",  Narcissism and Submission

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Negotiation Nonverbal Communication Secret # 1233: Putin's Pointing Pen

If you're President Vladimir Putin, a member of the local school board or anyone in between, it is best not to offend. One sure fire way to alienate people is to point at them with the "traditional index finger point". This is deliberately derogatory in many cultures and offensive in all others. Even if you're in agreement with the person doing the pointing and the opinion he/she is expressing, it will provoke and antagonize you. One nonverbal alternative (although not the only or the best way) is to point with a pen or pencil as a surrogate for the finger. This tends to soften the provocative nature of "the point" compared with the index finger. 

It is also incredible to note, and as the "new"/old Russian President is demonstrating here, that by pointing with a closed pen or the "eraser end" of a pencil - this will soften this body language even further. When the pencil eraser method as well as other less antagonistic (and more rapport building) body language ways to "point" are used - these methods tend to concomitantly "soften" the face too. That is, when the hands are less "angry" the face will show less negative (and more positive) emotions - and vice versa. The hands and the face strongly emotionally mirror each other - thus observing one will often give hints as to what the other is "feeling".

See also: Secret # 349: Pointing with Two Fingers (or more)

See also: Secret # 339: Don't Point at Me! I'm Not Your Child!

See also: Secret # 35: A Friendlier Way to Point

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